


Tempest in a Teakettle

by Indig0



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2018-12-10 10:43:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 30,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11689992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indig0/pseuds/Indig0
Summary: Klarg the bugbear's life changed forever when his family was taken to Lucas's lab, and changed again when he left, but he could never quite go back to life as it had been.And so far, everything's gone downhill from there.





	1. Jasmine

It was hard to remember the distant past now, after everything that had happened, but Klarg still remembered the first time he wrestled with his family. The others took it easy on the little ball of fluff and claws, but someone had fallen on him, and he’d squeaked as he got the wind knocked out of him. Then his dad scooped him up in a big hug, and cooed softly to him. He’d never forget how good that felt. His whole family had always been close like that, and that kind of memory helped him calm down when his fury spun out of control. That’s how it always was, and not just for Klarg. They all helped each other, and life was good.

When Lucas Miller captured them, things changed. After the initial bit, which Klarg had a hard time remembering aside from the pure frustration and hopelessness and rage, it was kind of nice. Everything was softer, there was no need to run or fight. They had jobs now. Klarg was a butler. It was all politeness and helpfulness. Service. He wouldn’t have liked it at all, back before Lucas. But he didn’t think like that anymore. He was practically a new bugbear. He even had a new name: Daniel Butler, because he was Lucas’s butler. It made sense, and gave him an identity, and he liked that.

Besides, they were given a beautiful place to live, and good food. Daniel tasted tea for the first time, and was mystified when he was offered a different kind later. It could be prepared so many different ways: Hot or iced (generally hot), with milk or sugar, honey or lemon, or just plain. There were so many different types, and Daniel wanted to try them all, and to share them with his loved ones. He prepared a new kind of tea for Lucas every day, and tried to make adjustments based on what Lucas liked. And then there were scones and biscuits, cookies and cakes, toast and biscotti, and all kinds of other treats that went well with the tea. His family enjoyed his tea and snacks too, though they weren’t quite as into it as he was. That was okay. Everything was okay, and they were all happy there.

Lucas’s friend the tall woman came over a lot. Well – she was more his mother’s friend than his, though she was always kind to him. She enjoyed Daniel’s tea, and was so well-spoken that he took every opportunity to stay in the room when she came to visit, to listen, to practice speaking the way she did. It helped him refine his speech and mannerisms. She was so dignified, so civilized. He wanted to be like her. And things might have gone on that way forever if he hadn’t touched her staff.

She and Lucas were bent over a table talking about the aerodynamics of a floating moon base, which was interesting in a purely academic sense, but not really Daniel’s cup of tea. Ha! Haha. Oh, that was a chuckler, he’d have to tell Christie, she’d appreciate it. 

The woman – Daniel had a hard time focusing on her name, he could never quiet catch it, even with his sharp ears. But her staff seemed so precarious, just leaning against the rounded table. If it leant up against the wall, it would be much more secure. And it was so beautiful and smooth… she wouldn’t be angry if he just touched it lightly. Just held it for a minute – just to prop it up better! Just… just took it…

The bugbear’s eyes were glazed over as his furry hand closed around the white oak staff. The woman whirled around instantly as a pale glow emanated from the staff, burning his hand and giving him a terrible headache. She snatched it away from him, and he growled, holding his injured hand close to his chest while reaching for the staff with the other hand.

“…Daniel, what are you doing?” Lucas asked incredulously. “********, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over him.”

It was like a spark had ignited in Daniel’s brain, and just kept fizzling and burning. He staggered back with a roar, clutching his head.

“Daniel! That’s enough,” Lucas snapped.

Klarg opened his eyes, panting raggedly. His mind was on fire, and he couldn’t stop it, and… “My… name… is not… Daniel!” he snarled, taking a swipe at Lucas.

The woman’s arm shot out between them, holding the staff, and Klarg was blasted back and blacked out.

“I’m sorry, but the situation was unsafe,” Lucretia said. “You need to take that chip out of his brain.”

“I can’t! It would kill him now. I don’t want to kill him, he’s… listen, let me put him somewhere safe for now, and I can see what I can do to help him when he recovers.”

“You’re in over your head here,” she said quietly, shaking her head.

“No, I’ll find a way! Daniel’s always been very loyal, and he loves being here.”

“Because you’ve forced him to feel that way. What you’re doing is wrong.”

“Oh – oh really? Don’t you think that’s just a tiny bit hypocritical? I wonder if Davenport would feel the same way.”

“Don’t you bring him up,” Lucretia hissed.

“Because you don’t want to face the truth. He’s obviously either under some sort of enchantment, or just not in full possession of his mental faculties. Either way, you’re exploiting him.”

“I’m leaving,” Lucretia said coldly. “Fix your mistakes, Lucas, and don’t let it happen again.”

“It’s only because he touched your staff!” Lucas yelled after her as she swept out. When she was gone, he went over to check the bugbear. The hand was twitching, and he was unconscious, but Daniel was still breathing and his pulse was strong. Lucas called in a couple of robots to take him back down to the hugbear family’s suite. He could recover and hopefully stay calm while Lucas worked out what to do.

When Klarg woke up, he was alone in his small room. His head still buzzed and ached. He remembered what happened, and he was… afraid. He didn’t understand why this was happening, but most of all, he hadn’t felt this angry in years. He hadn’t felt angry at all. Now it was like being a bomb in a tornado, and if he moved, or if anything happened, he’d just explode and never be able to pick up the pieces.

Tea. A nice cup of tea would make him feel better. If he moved slowly, and if no one else was around to witness this, he could make himself a cup of tea, and maybe he could be all right. Slowly he stood up, pausing whenever he felt painful or dizzy (which was a constant condition that throbbed slowly off and on). But he made it to the small kitchen, and with shaking hands, began to brew tea. His right palm still stung, but it was fading surprisingly quickly. As long as he didn’t touch anything with it. He clumsily grabbed a bag of frozen vegetables from the freezer, and made his tea with his left hand. A nice soothing jasmine, with a smidgen of honey…

With shaking hands, the tea was still prepared perfectly, and Klarg began to relax a bit as the light floral aroma wafted to his nostrils. There wasn’t much honey left, but that was no problem. He turned the jar upside down and shook it hard, then unscrewed the cap and held it over the cup. Gradually, it began to drip into his cup. It was so slow, he could feel his shoulders tightening up. No, he wouldn’t let some honey get the better of him. He took a spoon from the drawer – but it was too big to fit through the jar’s narrow mouth, and he scraped in vain. It wasn’t enough, he couldn’t get it out, his tea was ruined, he was going to murder someone –

With a furious roar, Klarg hurled the nearly empty honey jar at the wall. Then he flung his full teacup at the other wall, splattering tea all over the room. He stood heaving labored breaths amid the beautiful smell of jasmine tea with faint overtones of honey. He couldn’t stay here. It was too small, too clean and regular and… it wasn’t right. He wasn’t like that now. The broken items on the floor were wrong here, out of place, like him.

Klarg didn’t take anything. After all, his family used everything here. They’d need it. They were still able to be happy here, and now… now they wouldn’t want him here anymore. He’d find his own supplies, make his own way, make his own home. He raced through the corridors, flinging robots against the wall whenever he encountered them. He’d go back to the bugbear life, where he belonged.


	2. Chai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this, then realized that Klarg said he'd never met The Black Spider.  
> Too bad, it's happening.

“Where are you headed?”

The hairs on Klarg’s back stood on end and he turned to the squat gerblin who had followed him. “Out. None of your business.”

“Of course. I’ll have the others get that new pit ready for your return.” Yeemick sneered a little – which Klarg knew he couldn’t help, it was just his face.

“Make sure they clean the place, it’s disgusting. And put out the dead horses. …And make preparations for a prisoner.”

“What sort of prisoner?” the gerblin asked.

“A live one!” Klarg snarled. “And when I get back, we’ll have tea! I made a cake, it’s still cooling!”

“Lovely, lovely, I’ll look forward to that.”

Klarg stalked out of the cave with his wolf Percival at his side, and Yeemick watched him go. The short gerblin bared his teeth at his boss’s back, then whirled around, back into the cave.

“You three, go clean out the new pit!” he snapped to a few gerblins, who scurried off to obey. “I’m just about done with this…”

Percival paced beside Klarg, walking ahead, then circling around behind, and coming back now and then to nudge his hand. Klarg rumbled at him gently – not quite a growl, and Percival gave his fingers a small lick before trotting off ahead again. He was a good wolf, and he always made Klarg happy. He understood, like Yeemick, that Klarg wasn’t always as angry as he sounded, and when he was, it was best just to let him be. Klarg knew how lucky he was to have a second in command like Yeemick, and he made sure to show him the proper appreciation. The other gerblins didn’t care for tea, and weren’t much for conversation, but Yeemick was not only a great employee, but a good friend. It wasn’t like living with his family, but it was… a little like having a new family. Except he was the dad now. And Yeemick was the helpful teenage son, and the other gerblins were his little sisters and brothers, and Percival was the family dog who really just liked Klarg, so that was all fine by him. It was harder than his old life, but maybe it fit him better.

“You be good,” Klarg growled as they reached the outskirts of Phandalin. There was an inn just outside of town called The Remnant that was well-known for catering to types who might not be welcome closer to the city center. Their food was decent, and though Klarg didn’t really like meeting with people or going out to eat, he could at least walk into the bar area without a mob forming immediately to drive him out.

The guy he was supposed to be ultimately dealing with called himself simply, ‘The Black Spider,’ and Klarg hoped he would know him when he saw him. The bugbear stepped inside, leaving Percival to guard the door, and looked around.

There were a few robed figures, a nasty-looking gnoll talking to two kobolds, a very draconic dragonborn… and a young-looking drow in a black cape with a white spider design on it. The fact that the spider was white irritated Klarg just a little, but he bit it back and padded over, nails clicking on the stone floor.

“Are you the Black Spider?” he growled.

The dark elf turned and flashed a sunny smile. “Ah, I am his representative only! He does not get out much, you see. And you must be ze bugbear, Klarg? Charmed, truly.” He offered a slim hand, which Klarg eyed before grasping.

“Oh, vhat a grip you’ve got zhere! So nice to meet you. Please, call me Brian. I haven’t ordered any drinks yet, vhat do you prefer?”

Klarg narrowed his eyes, ears flattening against his head. “Tea.”

Brian’s face lit up even more than before. “Ah, a creature after mine own heart! Have you had ze ginger chai? It’z just to die for, you’ll love it. I’ll be right back, please, sit, sit down!” He bustled off to order. Klarg shifted his weight awkwardly, then gingerly sat down. Brian was smooth and refined, like his life with Lucas. He’d have to keep an extra tight rein on his temper. He already felt enormous and rough compared to the elegant wizard with his lilting, sing-song voice.

“Zey will make a fresh pot just for us, and bring some nice shortbread cookies as well.” The Black Spider winked at Klarg as he came back and sat across from him. “I think you’ll find them quite delectable.”

Klarg fidgeted in his chair. That did sound nice. Brian leaned back and sighed contentedly.

“It’z nice to just sit and relax a bit, yes? I am alvays so busy, and I am sure you feel ze same. Tell me, have you lived long in this area?”

“…No,” Klarg grunted, eyeing the wizard suspiciously.

“Ah, but you like it, I’m sure. Such a lovely place, have you seen it in ze spring? Covered in flowers, such a delicate aroma in ze air, especially farzer out of town. And ze caves, zhey are so roomy! I spent a great deal of time zhere in my youth. I do love a good cave. I have a delightful little place in ze Sword Mountains, not a day’s ride from here. You know, vith my complexion, it’s best if I keep out of ze sun.” He gestured to his face and laughed. “But you, vith such beautiful, luxuriant hair, maybe you get too hot vith too much time in ze sun.”

“Sometimes. Caves are okay.” Klarg could have rammed his head into a wall. Brian was doing all the talking, and so eloquently, he couldn’t think of anything to say at all, much less something witty and intelligent. Luckily, the barmaid brought a small platter with a steaming teapot, two cups, and a plate of cookies at that moment. Klarg sniffed appreciatively.

Brian sniffed too. “Delightful!” He clapped his hands, grinning. “I’m so glad ve could meet here today! I’m sure ve can be friends after zhis. But, ah, I have… perhaps an embarrassing little question to ask you, I feel so silly, I hope it isn’t rude of me… Can you handle zhese cups easily? I’m sure ve could ask for a coffee mug if you prefer.”

“No – it’s fine. My teacups are much more fragile than these,” Klarg blurted out, delicately picking his up, his pinky finger raising a bit out of habit. His own tea set was a pale marble with teacups so thin that light passed through them.

“Oh, Klarg, you are so practiced vith zhis! I apologize, I did not know. But how nice! I vould love to have tea vith you in your cave someday, and after all zhis business is over, perhaps I can invite you to mine own home.” He looked so sincere, so eager, that Klarg’s ears relaxed a bit and he gave a hesitant, toothy smile.

“You could… I’d be… happy… to have you over. For tea,” he said very, very carefully. “But you said you wanted me to capture a dwarf for you.”

Brian waved his hand. “Oh, ve can talk about zhat after our meal – zhere, see? I see it coming now.” And indeed, the barmaid brought over a platter of roasted fowl and vegetables.

Klarg had hoped to get this business over with faster, but he didn’t want to insult Brian. The drow was relaxing to be around, and he was really good company. He hadn’t had a purely social interaction in a long time, and hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it. They ate and they talked. Brian was getting married soon, and Klarg didn’t know much about romance, but he could see how in love the wizard was. His fiancée was very lucky, he knew that much.

Klarg told him about Yeemick, his most trusted friend and employee, who had helped him readjust to regular life, who had welcomed him and given him a home. He mentioned his family, and Brian was sympathetic. He reached out and put a soft hand over Klarg’s larger, furry one.

“My friend, I’m so sorry. Family is so important, and I know vhat it is like to lose zhat. You are very brave to go on wizout zhem…” He smiled faintly and patted Klarg’s hand. “I hope you can reunite vith zhem soon.”

Klarg felt himself blinking back tears, and fury warred with deep sadness in his chest. “I don’t think they’d want to.” He glared balefully down at the table and swiped his other arm across his face. “I’m not who I was then.”

“Nonzense! You are still a part of zhem, zhey vill come back to you some day. Zhey are alive, and I know zhey must be strong like you.” Brian smiled cheerfully. “You are charming and kind, how could zhey not love you?”

Klarg was silent for a long moment before snarling, “Are we here to do business, or did you want to talk all night?”

“Of course, of course, forgive me, ve don’t have to talk about it,” Brian said quickly, waving his hands. “Now ve can talk about business. In five days’ time, ze dwarf Gundren Rockseeker should pass very near to your home, I think. He may have… perhaps four guards vith him? It should be no problem for you and your friends.”

Klarg grunted. Brian’s constant cheer was starting to wear on him now. “And then I just bring him to you? Alive?”

“Yes, yes, if possible, alive. The others are nothing to me, do vith zhem vhat you vill. But I must have Gundren.” His pupils had constricted to tiny points, and he was staring intently at Klarg. The bugbear’s ears flattened again, and he growled low. The two stared at each other for a long moment.

“…I want half the payment up front,” Klarg finally rumbled.

“My dear, vhen ve are through, zhere will be more riches for you zhan you could possibly imagine.”

He should’ve demanded the whole payment up front. “Half now. The rest when you get him,” he growled lower.

“Yes, sure, okay.” Brian reached into his bag and pulled out a leather pouch, carefully counting out a pile of silver and copper pieces. It wasn’t quite half the price they’d agreed on.

“…Sorry, but I’m gonna need more than that, if this is so important to you.” Klarg hated himself for saying it when Brian had been so nice, and he felt hot and prickly all over.

“Ah, hm, you see, I did not bring ze full amount,” Brian sighed sadly. “But… since now ve know eachother, perhaps I do have a little somezhing extra for you.” He reached into a pocket of his robe and pulled out a small jade frog with golden eyes. “It’s adorable, no?”

Klarg eyed it. It did look expensive, and honestly, yes, cute. He swept it and the coins into his own bag. “That’ll do. For now,” he growled, standing up.

Brian flowed to his feet as well, wringing his hands. “Ach, I hope I did nozhing to offend you, Klarg. If I did, I am so very sorry! I hope ve can still be friends, and have tea togezher some day.”

Klarg just growled and turned on his heel, stalking out of the inn. Percival’s ears pricked up, and the wolf jumped up to pad after him. Brian would’ve been a good friend. Maybe someday… but probably not. He was certainly a sizeable regret to add to the list now. But at least Klarg still had Yeemick. He’d always have Yeemick, because Yeemick was like him, only with better control. Yeemick wouldn’t have growled and walked away. He wouldn’t have gotten angry in the first place, he would’ve dealt with his feelings and moved on like a normal, well-adjusted person. He would have gained a long-term friend and ally.

Halfway down the path to his cave, Klarg heard a small, ‘bzzt!’ and felt a searing pain in his head. He roared at the top of his lungs and bolted for the nearest tree, ripping it out of the ground and using it to bash the rest of the trees within reach, splintering trunks and sending branches flying in every direction. Why? It felt good – no, not good, but it brought him some relief from the terrible itch in his head. It burned his brain, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t see, there had to be some way to stop this.

With an agonized screech, the bugbear rammed his head into a wide sycamore tree. He yelped and reeled back, blinking away the black spots swimming across his vision. The burning spot in his head had stopped, and he’d take the sharp ache of a bump on the head over that any day. Percival whined from the path, where he was hunched low to the ground, watching his master. Klarg groaned and staggered back to the path, slowly making his way back home.


	3. Oolong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...Really just episode 2 from Klarg's point of view. 97% of the dialogue is the McElroys' not mine. Next time will be better.

Everything was going perfectly. Yeemick’s team had captured Gundren Rockseeker and one bodyguard. There might be more coming along later, but Klarg didn’t see any reason to worry about that. He had what he needed. So he left Yeemick in charge of the human man while he and a couple of gerblins took the dwarf to the agreed-upon meeting place. There was a tall, scarred orc driving the wagon they loaded Gundren into - Klarg had been hoping to see Brian again, and maybe try to explain himself, but he was nowhere to be seen. 

When they got back, Percival’s ears came up. He sniffed the air and growled low. There were sounds of fighting from the chamber below. The two gerblins looked at each other nervously.

“W-want us to go check on that, boss?” one of them stammered.

“Yeemick can handle it, he’s got plenty of help down there,” Klarg growled, throwing a few logs into the fire pit. The two glanced at each other again and stayed behind him. Percival was growling softly, and stalked around the edge of the room to crouch beside the door, watching. Waiting.

Sure enough, three people finally burst in the door, lights blazing and weapons out. And the fucking huge human picked up Percival and threw him in the goddamn fire. Then he tried to argue that he was doing the right thing! And he wasn’t even taking it seriously – Percival was his favorite wolf, his closest companion, and now he was burned, and these invaders didn’t even care! The gerblins finally got off their asses and attacked.

…And then the elven wizard looked up at him and his lips moved, and the world softened around them. Klarg hadn’t realized how tight his chest had been, how tense he’d become. But everything was all right now. At the elf’s suggestion, he called Percival back to him. What a good idea, he needed to comfort the poor wolf. And what a kind wizard, and his name… his name was Taako, what a beautiful name. How… how could Klarg impress him, though? Just get his attention?

“Well, I feel like we’ve known each other for ages.” Taako smiled lazily at him. There was a gap between his front teeth, and he had the most adorable freckles.

“I feel that way too,” Klarg said eagerly. “Do you need any money or any – Can I just sort of – can I give you all of the things I have?” It wasn’t enough, Taako deserved so much more.

“There will be time for that,” Taako assured him easily, stepping up to pat his arm – and his hand was so soft on Klarg’s fur. “Listen. We have, uh, a sort of a situation we wanted to loop you in on. On. We, uh –“

“You’ve been in my cave for a while now, do you want some oolong?” They could all sit down, maybe he could seat Taako next to him, they could just talk and have tea…

“Uh… no, no oolong for us, thanks,” Taako said, smiling gently, and Klarg could have rammed his head into the stone wall – Of course, Taako wasn’t an oolong kind of guy, he had to do better than this!

“We don’t have much time,” Taako continued as Klarg’s heart began to race. “Actually about fifty-nine minutes, if you’re exact.”

Such a short time, Klarg had to work fast! Taako probably had important business, he was obviously in high demand.

“So listen. Uh, listen.” Taako’s eyes roamed the chamber as if he were looking for something. Or just looking – the walls were so bare, Klarg was ashamed. He’d have to decorate more, he should have done that by now! “…We have a situation. One of your employees, uh, Yaweh, said – told us…”

“I – I don’t think the Jewish god is, uh, under my employ,” Klarg pointed out helpfully.

“I think it’s Wee-man,” the human spoke up.

“I think it’s Meemaw,” said the dwarf, who seemed to be enjoying himself. Taako had charming friends. Klarg wished Yeemick could be here right now, so he could show that he also had a close friend with him.

“Uh – uh, he told us… First of all, he has our friend Barry Bluejeans held captive. You know Barry.” Taako smiled, he was so friendly and welcoming, and Klarg was so honored to have him here in his cave. But he’d kidnapped a friend of Taako’s, and his ears drooped in shame.

“That was – I did – Yes, I…” That must be the bodyguard.

“I thought. We figured.”

Of course he would have known, Taako was so smart! “I may have…”

“Water under the bridge,” Taako and his fighter friend both said. It was so nice of them, but Klarg still felt terrible.

“Uh, listen. Uh, your friend wanted us to… and I know this is going to be hard to hear…”

“Are you sure you don’t want any tea?” Klarg cut in desperately. “I have a delicious Earl Grey!”

“Fifty-eight minutes, Klarg,” Taako snapped, though not unkindly. “Try to stay focused.”

“We’re good,” the dwarf added. “We’re okay.”

“He tried,” Taako began, obviously having a hard time getting his words out, and Klarg loved him so much for putting so much effort into something that was so hard. “He wanted us to, believe it or not, kill… Well, you. Kill you.”

“That doesn’t sound like… Are we talking about the same Yeemick?” Of course he trusted Taako, but Yeemick… he couldn’t believe that Yeemick would ever betray him, he was completely loyal. “There are, uh, sorry. I think I understand what the problem is. I employ… several Yeemicks.”

Taako reached up and put a hand on the side of his face, and Klarg leaned into his touch, eyes practically glowing with adoration.

“Klarg, look at me,” the wizard said. “It’s Taako. This is Taako talking. …Would I lie to you?” And how could Klarg ever doubt him?

“I guess I’ve known all along,” Klarg sighed sadly. Now that he thought about it, Taako was making a lot of sense. Yeemick was awfully secretive, he kept a lot from Klarg, he’d been resentful at first that Klarg was here at all.

“Look at that face,” the dwarf said, almost laughing, though Klarg couldn’t understand why.

“Look at this face, Klarg… It’s me, Taako!” Taako smiled up at him, and Klarg’s heart melted like butter. “Listen – Here’s the thing. We want Barry back. We wanna kill this bad guy… that wants to kill you. We want our friend Barry, and we want – we’d like some gold. Like some – like a little gold.” He was so selfless, so humble, and he deserved so much…

“For our trouble,” the dwarf interjected, and Taako echoed that. How great would it be to have friends to say the same thing at the same time with, to think so closely with…

“And if it’s not such a big deal, it would be great to know what happened to our other friend,” the big human added. “Gundren.”

Oh no. And now Taako was staring up at him again with those beautiful eyes of his.

“Gundren. Klarg, what do you say?”

Well. First thing’s first. “I think we can come to a very, uh, agreeable conclusion to this entire misunderstanding. Give me just one moment.” He walked over to his desk, pulled the stopper out of the speaking tube, and leaned in close. “Yeemick, can I see you in my office, please.”

“Klarg, just a heads-up. He’s gonna know something’s up when he sees us,” Taako warned him. He looked just a bit concerned, which Klarg understood to be a sign of a deep feeling for the elf. So sweet of him to worry!

“No, please. Listen,” Klarg said, waving his hand reassuringly. “Yeemick talks a big game, but he really is, uh – He’s as sweet as cherry pie. You have nothing to worry about, trust me, my friend.” He knew Yeemick. He trusted Yeemick. This was just a misunderstanding, and he’d show Taako what a good friend the gerblin was.

“How about we pretend we’re captives?” the dwarf suggested enthusiastically. “Or dead!”

Taako’s eyes lit up, and he quickly lay down on the ground.

“I – I’m telling you, this level of chicanery is not –“

“Bleeeeh, I can’t hear you, I’m dead!” Taako rasped from the ground.

“I do feel like you’re embarrassing yourself a little bit, but if you wanna lie on the floor and play child games, it’s –“

“Tell it to my ghost!” Taako interrupted, holding back laughter, and it was just so endearing that Klarg didn’t have the heart to even suggest he stop again. 

And the human wanted to play with Percival, but number one, he threw the poor wolf in the fire, and number two (directly following one), Percival didn’t want to go anywhere near him. Yes, it had been a misunderstanding. But he still threw Percival in the fire, and he wouldn’t put his pet, who relied on him, in danger.

When Yeemick made an appearance, two gerblins were flanking him, weapons drawn. His heart sank. This had to be a joke – Yeemick had a strange sense of humor sometimes. Or – no, surely he was just ready to help Klarg fight off their visitors, who – well, it wouldn’t be surprising if he thought of them as intruders. This was all just a misunderstanding that could be cleared up easily.

“Oh, Yeemick. I have heard the most fascinating story about you.”

Yeemick… didn’t even answer. He looked Klarg right in the eye and fired at him with his short bow. And the two gerblins behind Klarg just… they just walked past him to join Yeemick while the bugbear was reeling from the attack. The betrayal ran through every gerblin in his ranks. He’d trusted them completely, he’d treated them so well, and this was how they repaid him? If that’s how they wanted this to go…

Klarg took out his morning star, stalked up to Yeemick, and glared down into his horrified face as he crushed him into the ground. And the other gerblins looked terrified, but still stood against him. At least he had Taako. Taako, his only friend in the world.

“Lay down your weapons!” the fighter boomed, and though the gerblins weren’t at all intimidated, it warmed Klarg’s heart that Taako’s good friends would try to help him like this. Maybe they could be his friends, too. He could have three friends, that would be great, really. The human killed a gerblin, and then Percival took out another. Percival was still here, and wouldn’t turn on him. The other two gerblins fled, but if Klarg ever saw them again, he’d be sure to smash them into a wall.

“…Boy, I wish I hadn’t needed to murder them,” Klarg lamented, ears drooping.

“Klarg, old buddy,” Taako said, sidling up to the bugbear and fidgeting a bit, a coy smile on his face.

“Uh. Yeah.” Yeemick. Yeemick had betrayed him and led all the other gerblins to betray him.

“We’re gonna search them for valuables,” Taako said gently. “Is that cool with you?”

“I – You know, I suppose so –“

“Excellent,” the wizard said quickly. “Thanks, Klarg, I appreciate it.” And he and the others went to work. Klarg knew about Yeemick’s collection of gold teeth from his enemies and employees, of course. But such a small prize…

“Oh! I forgot, I promised you guys so much money! Um. Let me go –“

“And there was talk of tea?” the fighter suggested, and Klarg felt a weight lift off his shoulders. At last, they could have tea, relax, get to know each other better… This human was nice. He was no Taako, but Klarg liked him. Taako had good taste in friends, after all.

“Oh yeah!” The bugbear’s pointed ears perked up, and he trembled with excitement. “Do you want – I have so much! A-a-and I have a lot to share if it’s something you’re actually interested –“

“You know what?” the fighter said, smiling. “A cup of oolong would be a delight. It would go down real smooth.” And Klarg might have fallen in love for the second time that day.

“Scones?” the dwarf suggested hopefully. “Do you have scones?”

Klarg’s heart constricted, and his ears fell. “…Oh my god, no, I – Oh my god. I don’t.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” The dwarf raised his hands placatingly. “I couldn’t eat ‘em anyway.”

“I – I just feel so terrible…”

“You just looked like a scone guy, is all.” And he was, he was, he should have been prepared, this was a disaster in every way… But at least he managed to make them each a good cup of tea. His hands didn’t shake (too much), his claws didn’t clatter against the thin marble, he hummed as he worked, his mind was clear… And they were all impressed, especially Taako (well, that’s who he watched the most). And he gave them all the coins and the little jade frog from Brian. And they deserved every bit of it, for helping him out so much. For saving his life, really. They deserved everything.

When Taako finished his tea, he sighed in satisfaction and looked up. “Uh, Klaarg… Since we’re – we’re friends here…”

“Absol – best friends, I would say.” They were his friends!

“I would say that too.” Taako would say that too!! “What happened to –“

“Lovers, maybe?” Klarg suggested eagerly. It was a gamble, it was a lot to even mention, but if he didn’t take any risks, he’d never know what might have been.

“Uhhhhh… time will tell,” Taako said, glancing back at his other friends, who were covering their mouths. Klarg wasn’t embarrassed, though. Best friends, and… well, maybe lovers some day! It was far too soon for that now, of course, but… but one day, maybe…

“What happened to, uh…” Taako continued.

“Gundren,” the dwarf supplied.

“Gundren!”

Klarg cleared his throat and looked aside. “We… actually… gave him away,” he admitted reluctantly. “I guess I can start from the beginning. “We were uh, hired – we were contracted to give – uh, to collect, to acquire, uh, Gundren and deliver him to the Black Spider. So, uh, that’s what we did, and that’s where he is at, I imagine.”

“Okay, what’s the Black Spider?” Taako asked.

“I don’t actually know.” He’d been so sure that Brian was, but… he’d said he wasn’t, and Klaarg did trust Brian, even if they’d ended on a sour note. His lovely voice was so much like Taako’s, Klarg realized. “I’ve never met him. But I do know – I guess he loves… dwarves! I guess he likes… having them,” he finished lamely. And he explained where he’d taken Gundren, and that he’d never spoken directly with the Black Spider. Of course the three had to leave, he knew that, even though it pained him. But they said they’d meet again, it was basically a promise, so he had that to look forward to.

“…Can we have a hug?” Klarg called shyly as they were about to turn to leave. “Can one of you guys give me just… a quick hug?” Please Taako, please Taako, please Taako…

“Magnus!” Taako and the dwarf quickly said, pointing to the human fighter, who froze, then smiled and walked up to Klarg.

It had been so long since Klarg had hugged anyone. Not since he left his family. Yeemick and the other gerblins weren’t the hugging type, and perhaps that had been due to them… not caring for him. But Magnus leaned in and really squeezed, and Klarg never wanted it to end. Magnus was a big guy, too. Almost as good as a bugbear hug…

“We need to get going,” Taako pointed out, laughing.

“This is good, isn’t it?” Klarg murmured to Magnus. Was it just as good for him? Klarg wanted it to be just as satisfying for him.

“Yeah.” And Magnus was laughing too, but he still looked like he meant it. And the other two didn’t want to join in, though Taako did promise he’d take him up on the offer next time. Klarg would hold him to it. That was something to look forward to. Three friends and Percival, at least, even if everything else was gone.

Klarg looked around the empty cave, even emptier now. He looked at the bodies of Yeemick and the other two gerblins. Percival whined and licked at his fingers. Something felt off. Taako – 

“…Wait, what!? Ah, shit!”


	4. Maté

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klarg goes searching for friends and family.  
> (he's just so gullible, though)

Yeemick was gone. The gerblins were gone. All the money and treasure was gone. So Klarg packed up his tea and his few remaining belongings, and set out with Percival, who was really in quite good shape considering he’d been thrown into a fire pit.

Taako and his friends had tricked him. They may have helped him with the whole Yeemick situation, but they’d never cared about him. All he had now was Percival. They’d been wandering for a while now, sometimes staying in a cave or abandoned shack for a few weeks, sometimes just a day. Sometimes he thought he should go back to Lucas’s lab. His family was probably still there. He couldn’t stand the thought of being a servant again, though, of being called a different name.

Sometimes he thought about seeking out Taako, but his feelings on the elf were even more conflicted. He and his friends had been so kind, had taken tea with him, had saved him from betrayal at the hands of his employees. But Taako… Taako had placed a charm spell on him. After what Lucas did to him, being forced to feel something other than what he normally felt made him deeply uncomfortable. Even if it felt wonderful in the moment. He wasn’t sure what to think about Taako and the others.

He’d gone looking for Brian’s place in the Sword Mountains, once he got himself together. It took a while, but he finally discovered the wizard dead in a pit, on top of a giant spider (was that the Black Spider? No, in light of everyone else betraying him, Klarg realized that the real Black Spider was probably Brian). He understood, even though it hurt. Brian had to protect his identity. Klarg wasn’t sure what was involved in drow burial traditions, but he tossed a handful of dirt down over Brian’s body before he left. He wondered if his fiancée knew. In any case, Klarg had no way to contact them. Probably best to stay away from people anyway. No one could be trusted. He was so lonely, though…

When Klarg left the Sword Mountains, he found that Phandalin was just… gone. It was now a perfect circle of black glass that he skirted around suspiciously. There was no sign of anything still alive, or any buildings, or… anything. Even The Remnant, at the outskirts, was gone.

Klarg considered going back to his cave. But with Phandalin decimated, there wouldn’t be many travelers passing by, and between the glass and the naturally bleak mountains, he didn’t like his chances. There was that castle, though, up in the woods to the north. Yeemick had lived there, he’d told Klarg about it. Goblins and hobgoblins and bugbears lived there, they had a real community. Yeemick had struck out on his own because he couldn’t get ahead there, and had often said they didn’t like big thinkers like him. They probably just didn’t like traitors, Klarg decided, and headed in that direction. It would be nice to be part of a community. To be with his own kind again. Maybe they’d welcome him.

Percival was amiable to the trip, and Klarg headed north from where Phandalin had been. There were no signs, but Klarg wouldn’t expect there to be, with so many marauders and adventurers around. He avoided the roads when he could, and reached the woods by the second afternoon. There was a definite path, but it looked overgrown, so Klarg deemed it safe and followed it into the shady forest. He didn’t have far to walk before a castle came into view. It was large, but dilapidated. Yeemick had never mentioned that – perhaps they’d fallen on hard times recently. Klarg walked into the clearing, and was immediately surrounded by goblins.

“Who’re you?” one of them growled, brandishing a spear menacingly.

“Klarg,” the bugbear growled, flexing his massive fingers and giving Percival the sign to stay where he was. “Who’s in charge here?”

Klarg was brought inside, the circle of goblins keeping their spears trained on him. Inside, the castle was even less impressive, and it was a shame they were letting the beautiful stonework crumble away. There were long, sturdy tables set up, and goblins and hobgoblins were milling around, either working or pretending to. There was a small raised dais with a cracked stone throne at the back of the room, and on it sat an ancient bugbear, flanked by younger bugbears in armor.

“Found this guy outside,” one of the goblins growled, and Klarg glared at the other bugbears, his chest tightening.

The old one, the leader, stirred and glared nearsightedly. “Why’n’t ya kill ‘im?”

“They could try,” Klarg muttered quietly, and though the room had been fairly noisy, it got quiet when he said that. Everyone clutched their weapons.

“Whad’ya want?” growled the old bugbear.

Klarg swallowed, trying to push down the rage and anxiety that warred in his throat – he could take on any of these weaklings, how dare they even suggest killing him before they knew why he was here!? But together they might overwhelm him, and shit, he didn’t want to kill them!

“I want… to join you here,” he growled, ducking his head a bit in a show of deference.

The leader coughed out a short laugh. “Join? What’s in it f’r me?”

“I’m a strong fighter,” Klarg growled, ears back. “I know a lot about technology and… cooking.” He didn’t think it was the right time to mention tea (a nice strong maté, he thought). Later, when he had a secure position.

“Got lotsa strong fighters.” The armored bugbears smirked. Klarg bared his teeth at them.

“Gimme your best one,” he snarled. “I’ll take him down.”

The bugbear guards snickered amongst themselves, igniting a blaze of fury in Klarg, but the leader sat up a little straighter and stared at him with his filmy eyes for a long moment before turning slightly and beckoning the largest bugbear forward. He was about Klarg’s height but a bit more muscly, and he hefted a huge battle axe on his shoulder. The other bugbears, goblins, and hobgoblins stepped back to make a ring around the two. Klarg snarled wordlessly and slowly took his Morningstar from his back.

The other bugbear came at Klarg, and axe met Morningstar with a CLANG. Klarg pushed hard against the axe, and stomped down on the other’s foot, digging in his claws. It would have worked better if the other bugbear hadn’t had armor partially covering his foot. He chuckled darkly, and Klarg swung low at his legs, which his opponent easily dodged.

The axe came down on Klarg’s face, and his vision went red, and he swung faster and wilder, and the other bugbear just kept ducking out of the way, laughing. He was so fast, and they were all laughing.

Then Klarg felt something buzz sharply in his head. He stiffened and let out a deafening roar. The crowd grew quiet, shuffling uncertainly.

Klarg grabbed the axe handle and gave it a powerful swing. The other bugbear was still holding on, and let out a cry of surprise, but by that time Klarg had grabbed his foot and was swinging him around in a circle. As soon as he started to kick out with the other foot, Klarg hurled him away, into a few other bugbears. He struggled to get up, but Klarg was on him in a flash, growling savagely and tearing off his armor, slamming him down against the floor whenever he tried to rise. Klarg pounded his face into the ground as the goblins jeered, and before he knew it he had grabbed the other bugbear’s head and snapped his neck. He straightened up, breathing heavily, and looking for his next opponent.

The bugbear guards were growling and starting to advance on him, but their leader put up a withered hand. “He’s strong. Stronger’n Grob. Maybe better f’r the deal. What’s yer name?”

The others stopped. They still looked angry, but they stepped back. Klarg faced the leader, panting.

“…Klarg,” he huffed.

“Klarg. Come, feast,” the leader growled, grinning at him and gesturing to the tables. Everyone shuffled uncertainly, and headed to the long benches. The leader was watching Klarg closely, and pointed for him to sit across the table. Still breathing hard, Klarg replaced his Morningstar on his back and sat down, glancing around. The other bugbears didn’t look happy, but they sat down with him. A handful of hobgoblins scurried to bring out the food and drinks. Klarg was among the first served, and he sniffed appreciatively at a platter of roasted meat and potatoes. A goblin poured some ale in his flagon, spilling some in the process.

“No, give ‘im the good stuff.” The leader smiled across the table at Klarg. “That spider wine. Some f’r me too. Get ‘im a new cup, here.” He snatched a new flagon from a passing goblin and squinted into it, frowning and rubbing his sleeve around the edge. A hobgoblin appeared a moment later with a tall black bottle, and he poured Klarg and the leader each a substantial amount of a dark liquid. Klarg nibbled on a piece of potato while he watched. It could use some more seasoning.

The leader lifted his flagon and called out, “A toast! Our new champion, Klarg.”

“Klarg!” the hall echoed as the other joined in. Klarg hesitated, but he didn’t want to be rude to his host, who was drinking the same stuff. He lifted his flagon, then took a sip. The spider wine had a sharp, musty taste, and tickled his nose so he wrinkled it up and sneezed three times, violently. Everyone else laughed.

“Three sneezes, good f’r first time,” the leader chuckled. “Better down the whole thing. Easier that way. Strong stuff, though, watch out. Might be too strong f’r you.”

Klarg growled – as if he couldn’t hold his liquor. He took two long swigs and slammed the flagon down on the table. The other bugbears broke into a cheer, and Klarg’s ears lifted a little. He could handle this. He was doing fine. He was the biggest, strongest bugbear around, and they were all impressed. They acted tough, but he saw now how nice they all were, how welcoming. He could feel the spider wine warming him, and he sighed contentedly, slumping back in his chair. The whole room was warm – was it just the wine? How was spider wine made, anyway? He thought of Brian, lying dead on top of the giant spider. That thing must produce a ton of wine. His head swayed from side to side, and he slammed an arm down on the table to rest his cheek on. The smells were starting to turn his stomach a bit now, but if he just closed his eyes for a minute, he’d be all right. He wished he had some tea right now – anything would do. Everyone was talking and laughing, and this was such a nice place, such a nice new home…

Klarg was out cold within seconds, and the leader jerked his head at him. A group of hobgoblins pulled a cart over, and heaved the unconscious bugbear onto it.

“Keep ‘im locked tight,” the leader told them. “He’ll make a good deal f’r us.”

Klarg remained dead to the world all night and well into the morning. He woke to the sound of the castle’s leader talking to someone with a strange voice, both low and high, lilting and screeching. He couldn’t see anything – there was a scratchy burlap sack over his head, and he was tied tightly to the cart. Damn.

“This one’s better’n the one I was gonna give ya.”

“I really don’t see the difference!”

“Stronger. Worth more.”

“I’m going to need proof of that!”

“Lookit Grob. This un killed ‘im, snapped ‘is neck right there.”

“I’m sure he’s strong, but I’m not paying you based on strength! Just numbers!”

The ancient bugbear snarled. “He’s worth more!”

There was a strangely threatening silence. “Are you really drawing your weapons?” The voice was still screeching, but more quietly now, and with a certain hissing quality. “You dare challenge me? Garfield, the Deals Warlock!?”

The silence stretched on, and then there was the sound of feet shuffling backwards. Klarg tried to turn his head, but found that his neck wouldn’t move that way. All his limbs were impossibly heavy, and even opening his eyes was almost too hard to do.

“Excellent. Come, Craigery, load up the wagon and let’s be off!”

Klarg’s cart was pushed along until he felt fresh air hit him.

“Hurry and load it in, we don’t have all day,” the strange voice said again, quieter now and more impatient. “And I’m sure you’re eager to be getting home, mmmm?”

There was a fierce growl from nearby, and Klarg recognized Percival. He tried to call out as he heard the wolf snarl and spring, but his vicious attack was cut off with a whimper as he fell to the ground.

“Well! See if I ever come here to deal again.”

As Klarg was pushed up a ramp and secured inside a wagon, tears slipped from his eyes. Percival. His one friend, the only one who hadn’t betrayed him. He didn’t deserve this. Hopefully… hopefully he’d crawl away to lick his wounds, and be fine. Klarg knew this wasn’t the case, but he tried to tell himself that. The oxen plodded along, heading east, and Klarg slipped in and out of consciousness, dreaming of being overpowered and killed by his family, of Percival running from him, far and fast, of Taako sweetly asking for his skin, and humming a soothing melody as he peeled it off inch by inch. Of Yeemick laughing and laughing and laughing from the castle wall until everything faded to black.


	5. Boiling Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, much of the dialogue and plot belongs to the McElroys in this chapter. But on we go.

Klarg awoke much later, when the cart he was strapped to was bumped down the ramp and almost tipped over. He growled and struggled, to no avail.

“Shut up!” a voice snapped – not the Deals Warlock, but the assistant.

“Ya said ya had some good stuff today?” a sharp, whiny voice with a strange accent said.

“Oh, you’ll find my deals simply delectable,” the Deals Warlock purred. “And of course, you get your discount because of Craigery. Five percent. Before taxes.”

“Yeah, like any ‘a us pay taxes.” The man laughed. “Now lemme see ‘em.”

The sack was ripped off Klarg’s head, and he squinted in the strong sunlight. A skinny man was eyeing him.

“Today we have a fine selection for you,” purred Garfield. “Only the best, from Garfield, the Deals Warlock! As you can see, you can choose from a giant spider, a lizardman, a bugbear, and – you’ll like this – a lamia.”

Klarg looked over at his fellow captives. The spider was contained in some sort of magic orb, and kept scrabbling at the sides. The rest of them were bound. The lizardman was struggling, but the lamia looked dazed.

“Not really what I was lookin’ for,” the human mumbled, eyeing Klarg.

“Come on, they’re all in great shape, very strong for their kind.”

“…It’s gotta have legs,” the man said, looking over at the lamia. “But not too many.” He shivered at the spider.

“Of course. You know, this bugbear is quite the fighter. It just showed up at a bugbear settlement one day and demanded to fight their strongest fighter. Killed him in one blow!”

“Yeah?” The man came over to Klarg, who growled low in his throat. “It don’t look too smart.”

“No, but it’s something you could work with. If having an unstoppable killer on your battle wagon is worthwhile.” Garfield stroked his… whiskers? Klarg couldn’t quite tell what he was.

“I dunno… Jer, whadda you think?”

“Ah, ah, ah!” Garfield cut in gleefully. “It’s Craigery now, remember!”

“Prob’ly the best deal here, boss,” Craigery mumbled unhappily

“Yeah… yeah, okay, I guess I’ll take the bugbear. But I’m not payin’ full price if I gotta work with it that much just to make it halfway decent. And I want it chained up real good so’s it don’t hurt nobody.”

While they haggled, Klarg tried to get the lamia’s attention. Finally she roused enough to look over at him, dull-eyed and sleepy.

“Hey. Wake up, we gotta get outta here!” he growled quietly.

She just blinked at him slowly. He struggled, but couldn’t move. He tried the lizardman next.

“Hey. Hey you! Time to go, let’s get outta here!”

“Nnnn!” The lizardman twisted, tail lashing. “S-stuck, trapped, ca-can’t move, can’t…” He shuddered hard.

“Hey! Quit makin’ trouble!” Craigery hit Klarg over the back of the head, and the bugbear blacked out.

When he came to again, he was chained to a sturdy chair in a garage of some sort, and there was a heavy metal helmet covering his entire face and head. As he looked around, he could see Craigery and the man who’d been negotiating with Garfield, and a few other humans. His vision was marred by the full helmet, which only had narrow slits for him to see through. He growled and thrashed, testing the chains, but it only drew the humans’ attention.

“Hey boss, he’s awake!” one of the men said in a high, whiny voice.

The one who had negotiated for him, who must be the boss, strolled over to look at Klarg. “Plenty of fight in ya, huh, guy? I like that. Can you understand words?”

Klarg snarled furiously and tried to lunge up out of the chair, but it was bolted to the floor. The men all laughed.

“Well you’ll learn pretty quick. Do what I say an’ you’ll get privileges, like eatin’ an’ a little more space. Don’t, an’ things won’t be too good fer you, got it?”

The bugbear swiped at the boss as he leaned close, but he quickly backed up again before Klarg could grab him. “Wrong answer. Knock ‘im around, boys.”

The other men closed in on Klarg and started to beat him with clubs and wrenches. Klarg roared and snarled, trying to catch their weapons, straining against his chains, but to no avail.

“That’s enough fer now,” the boss finally said, when Klarg was bruised and aching everywhere. “Give ‘im another chance later, but don’t nobody get too close ‘til then.”

“You got it, boss!” the smallest one piped up.

“Good. Now you three, get out on guard duty. You two, get some sleep, ya switch off in five hours.”

Five men left, and Klarg tried to draw his arms and legs in as close as he could to his body. It wasn’t much. He seethed silently while the remaining humans ignored him, discussing plans for a race. Battlewagons – Lucas had watched those races now and then, and Klarg had caught glimpses. They’d looked fun. But this wasn’t the time to be interested in things like that. He had to get free, he had to find the most painful way possible to kill these guys, and he had to get far away from here. There was nothing he could grab onto except the chair, and that didn’t do him any good. Try as he might to strain and flex against his bonds, they held fast. He growled under his breath until the boss looked over

“You still goin’ over there? Look, I’ll talk slow so’s you can understand me.” He got up and walked over closer, though well out of Klarg’s reach. “This here’s a battle wagon. It goes real fast. I’m gonna be drivin’ inside it. An’ you… yer gonna be on the outside, doin’ yer big scary monster thing, throwin’ people off, rippin’ ‘em in half, that kinda thing, got it?”

“Rip you in half,” Klarg muttered, muffled by the mask, eyeing him balefully.

“No.” The human flicked a rod at Klarg, and a small jolt of electricity ran through him. It wouldn’t have been so bad, except that it made the thing in his head jump and burn. Klarg screamed and thrashed in the chair.

“C’mon, it’s just a little buzz. Toughen up – they said you were real strong. I ain’t seein’ it.” He zapped Klarg again, on the toe, and Klarg howled, writing in agony. His head felt like it was on fire.

“Okay, wow. We got our work cut out fer us, huh? Hey boys, rough him up s’more.”

The other gang members came over and started kicking him and punching him. It hurt, but it was nowhere near as bad as the electricity. At some point another person joined in beating him, but he didn’t really notice at that point.

He did notice, however, when three more people came in, because the beating stopped momentarily, and he opened his eyes to see what had happened.

Magnus and the dwarf, he recognized on sight. The third one looked like the scrawny little guy who’d gone outside, but he’d know Taako’s scent anywhere. He tried to call out to them, but his throat was raw from screaming, and the mask muffled him too much. He struggled and strained. Were they all in league with each other? Was Taako okay? What were they doing here!? He’d tear them apart, he’d crush their skulls, he’d –

“Yo, calm down!” one of the gang members snapped, and hit him over the head. Klarg slumped forward, dazed. When he was able to raise his head again, there was a fight going on. Taako and his friends were fighting the… the garage guys, the gang members, whatever.

Then one of them, Craigery, tried to approach Magnus and walked too close to Klarg. He couldn’t reach much, but he snagged the back of the man’s shirt and flipped him down on the floor, pinning him with the tips of his claws and one foot. He leaned down, seething and snarling, and Craigery struggled fruitlessly to escape. He didn’t notice the dwarf coming up to him until he saw Craigery’s eyes flick to the left in even more terror than he’d been in before. What was scarier than the death that was literally holding you to the floor? He turned just in time to see the dwarf bring his Warhammer down hard on the chain holding Klarg in place. One link snapped apart, and Klarg surged to his feet with a roar. One gang member turned white as a sheet upon seeing him, and ran for the door. Another wasn’t fast enough, and Klarg swung the broken chain around his neck. He was blubbering and pleading for his life, and Klarg smelled when he wet his pants.

“Um, let me talk to this fool for a second,” Taako said, stepping closer. Klarg’s grip tightened on the chain. “Hey, hey, where’s the arcane core?”

While Klarg was trying to decide whether to slam Taako’s head into a wall or hug him and never let go, the ruffian he was holding spoke up. 

“It’s – it’s in a chest, behind the boss’s desk, it’s on top of a toolbox just –“

“Is it locked?” Taako continued, cool as a cucumber.

“Ye-yeah, B-b-b-b-“

“Where’s the key?”

“It’s… over on pisspants over there! Not me, the other pisspants! P-please let me out of here!”

Taako went to find the key, and Magnus sidled up to Klarg. 

“Hey – hey, buddy. I hope you remember –“

Klarg swiped at the fighter with his claws, and bellowed incoherently. Magnus smiled placatingly.

“Klarg. Klarg, you’re my hugbear, buddy!”

Klarg’s spine stiffened – that’s what Lucas had called them. Magnus had said it before, but Klarg had been too deep into the charm spell for it to register.

“Nuh,” he snarled, panting loudly. “Do you have any idea… what a rough few months I’ve had!?”

“I can imagine it’s been pretty bad,” said Magnus, sympathetically.

“Pretty bad!” Klarg barked out in disbelief.

“…But we’re here… we’re here to help, but we can’t do that if you kill this man,” Magnus said soothingly.

That was a trap, Klarg knew a trap when he heard one. He squeezed tighter at the man’s neck, backing up a few steps.

“Just stay back, or I swear I’ll kill him. Stay back!”

Magnus put his hands up. “If you let this man go, I can –“

“Oh man, I’m so mad at you guys,” Klarg snarled, breathing hard, ears flat against his skull. “Ooh boy am I angry. Boy am I peeved.” Did they even have any idea how furious he was right now? At these people who’d been beating him up all day, at Taako and Magnus and the dwarf who tricked him and made him not himself, at the… creature who’d killed Percival, at the old bugbear who’d drugged and sold him, at Yeemick… 

“All the oolong you want, if you let him go,” Magnus promised softly.

Then the dwarf muttered something, and Klarg breathed in a sticky-sweet mist. And for just an instant, he began to relax – but that was a spell, they were doing something to him again. He snorted and sneezed, and growled down at the dwarf. He could step on him and squash him. He felt the ruffian relax, and go almost limp in his grip. That had almost been him.

That would not be him again.

He kicked the man at the three and pivoted, snatching a tarp and ripping it off the battlewagon it lay over. It didn’t look much like a wagon, but he was sure he could start it and drive it. There were keys in the ignition, and he jumped on, revved the engine, and turned to the three with a scowl.

“If I ever see you again, it’ll be bad. For you!” Magnus tried to say something, but Klarg revved louder and tore out of the garage. This thing was fast, and it took a few blocks and a few close calls to figure it out. There were sirens coming from the north of town, so he sped off to the east. He’d just ride as far as he could. All the way to the coast.

Before too long, though, he stopped. He was well outside the city limits, and the moon shone down on the still wasteland. It was beautiful, actually. So open and warm and breezy. Klarg slowed down, and could smell some sort of night-blooming flowers. Not a cave to be seen. So many people lived in places like this, just out in the open. Of course, they built their own cave-substitutes, most of the time.

Eventually he turned the bike towards a cluster of boulders, parked, and got off the motorcycle. His legs ached from riding so long, and after drawing in a particularly deep breath, he sneezed violently. It smelled so good, but the air scratched at his throat. Pollen, probably. Kind of like fungus spores.

Klarg flopped down in the middle of the boulders, picking up handfuls of gravel and tossing them hard at the bigger rocks. He had to get… where? Where could he go? He didn’t have a home, his family wouldn’t want to see him, every single friend he’d thought he’d had had betrayed him… He huffed loudly, and an owl that had settled on a rock nearby flew away in indignation. The bugbear scowled up at the stars. This was no place for him, either. He could go… anywhere, really. Anywhere in the world. Or he could just keep wandering aimlessly forever. That sounded pretty tiring. He was so sore, so worn out from everything, and he didn’t know what to do… Maybe for now, he’d close his eyes. Then he could figure things out in the morning.


	6. Instant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battlewagon race seems like as good a place as any for Klarg to figure out his feelings for Taako and the others.  
> Again, some of the dialogue and plot are lifted directly from the podcast. It needs to be here.  
> The next chapter will take a different turn, though.

When the sun rose, Klarg’s eyes were puffy and his throat scratchy. Definitely too much pollen around here. He sat up with a groan and rubbed his face. His stomach growled. He needed to… nah, he’d find something to eat, then worry about everything else.

A quick search revealed a few small lizards (crunchy, but not filling), some edible roots (starchy and chewy), and the flowers that had been bothering Klarg. They were large, purple, and bell-shaped, and grew on a thick vine low to the ground. They were closing up in the sunlight, but on the same vine were a few dark purple fruits. Klarg picked one, and sliced it open with a claw. It smelled sweet, and his stomach growled again. …The worst that could happen was a stomach ache, right? Or he could die. He stared at the fruit, which was pale orange inside, then made a non-committal grumble and began to scrape out the flesh. It tasted fantastic, and he gulped down as many as he could find. It didn’t completely fill him up, but it helped.

He still had nowhere to go, however. He thought again, longingly, of the hugbears’ quarters in Lucas’s lab. And of that time Magnus hugged him… And he’d been trying to avoid it, but that brought to mind how Taako had made him feel. Everything had been warm and soft and safe, and he’d felt like he was floating whenever Taako was nearby. It hadn’t worked quite so well this past time… maybe because Taako had been disguised? What had they been doing there, anyway? They’d asked about the arcane core, he knew that was a power source. Were they entering a battle wagon race? …Could he find them, and see them again? He felt his heart twist in a weird way. He was probably just – but no, he didn’t feel the beautiful floaty feeling. It was still a really, really bad idea. But they’d helped him when they didn’t have to. Even if Taako had charmed him. They warned him about Yeemick, and helped him beat the gerblins when they turned on him. They’d freed him from the garage. And Magnus didn’t have to hug him…

Klarg checked the motorcycle over carefully – it was in good shape. He took some time to familiarize himself with the controls. This was a stupid idea, he was being an idiot. …But it was the only thing he wanted to do, and he didn’t have a lot of other options at the moment. He stood up tall and looked around, sniffing the air – there! With a low growl, Klarg jumped on the motorcycle and turned the key, revving the engine before wheeling around and speeding off towards the dust trails out in the distance.

The track – it wasn’t even a track, really. It was just the wasteland outside of town. It wasn’t hard to find the race, though. Klarg spotted the dust storm quickly, and sped into it. His eyes narrowed to try to keep out the dust – a mask, or some goggles, would’ve been helpful! But he managed to keep up a good speed, dodging around the bigger battlewagons at the last second. Some of them were strange-looking. He spotted the Shark Tank pretty early on, and it would’ve been terrific to be able to take it out. Or do any damage at all. But the thing seemed impenetrable, so he passed it and kept on going at a slightly different angle.

And suddenly, there was the edge of the dust storm. Klarg slowed a bit, squinting through the haze. There were a few battlewagons… He wasn’t sure what exactly he was looking for…

But then a figure stood up tall on one of the wagons. They unbuckled something and threw it aside. Then they turned towards the side of the wagon as if –

Klarg put on a burst of speed, and raced up. He knew that silhouette, he’d recognize it anywhere, that was Taako, taking a leap off the side of the battlewagon, sailing into space!

He got there just in time, reaching up a big hand and catching the elf out of the air, slamming him down in the side car. He didn’t have to be so rough – he was just worried, Taako could have died! He flashed a lopsided, toothy grin over at the wizard. “…Wow, that was a close one, wasn’t it?”

Taako looked stunned and disoriented. He was blinking hard, looking around, gasping for breath.

“…Are you doing okay?” Klarg asked nervously. “I was worried about you, and I saw you flying all hither and yon through the air…”

The poor, beautiful wizard took a shuddering breath and nodded, focusing on him at last. “Yeah, my dude! I’m – I’m good now, thank you!”

He was so brave, so strong. “M’kay, uh, you let me know if uh – I – I didn’t bring my tea with me this time because I feared it would be a little intense out here and not really great brewing conditions, but you just –“

“Right you were, huh?” Taako cut in with a weak little laugh, and if Klarg hadn’t been driving, he would’ve swept the fragile elf up into a big hug, told him he was safe now, that he’d never have to be afraid like that again, that Klarg would always be there to catch him… There was a lot going on around them, and Klarg was very careful to watch out around them, but at the same time, he was caught up in Taako’s beautiful eyes. They were mesmerizing, and he looked… puzzled. Did he feel this connection too? He must feel it, how could he not?

Then there was a loud BOOM, and a spear shot out of the Shark Tank’s mouth, almost hitting them. Klarg swerved away, and Taako was knocked to the side. He looked over to where the spear was sticking out of the battlewagon with ram horns.

“…Whew!”

Klarg opened his mouth to assure Taako that he was safe, but then a deep horn sounded from the pylon as they drove by. The top suddenly glowed red, and a beam of red light shot out, narrowly missing the two of them, slicing off the flag on the antenna. Klarg gulped.

“Whoa! That seemed, uh… That was rude! I wonder what caused that!”

“Hey Klarg!” Taako shouted against the wind that whipped around them, leaning in closer. “Klarg, are you supposed to be in this race?”

The bugbear blinked, taken aback. “…Well no! I just – I thought it might be dangerous, and I thought it would be hospitable if I just sort of kept an eye on you, Taako! You’re my very good friend, I don’t want anything bad happening to – to Taako! If you’re asking if I signed up and paid my fees, the answer is – the answer is no. But this is, you know it’s just land! I don’t see why they get to say who can be where, doing what.”

“Yeah, I mean… I’m with ya, Ron Paul.” Taako laughed wildly. “Let’s do this, but um, I need to get back into the – the action there! Into the fray!”

Klarg’s heart sank. Then he’d be in danger – in more danger. But this obviously meant a lot to Taako, and he just couldn’t deny that sweet face.

“Okay! I – just tell me where you want me to go, and I’ll, uh… I can get you there in one piece, I just wanna make sure you’re doing… just fine.”

Taako stared hard at him – had he said something wrong? But the moment passed, and Taako asked him to get back over close to the ram wagon, so that’s what he did. Once they were close, Taako fired off a Magic Missile spell. It was much more powerful than anything the wizard had done back when they’d first met, and Klarg wanted to tell Taako how proud and impressed he was, but then the boar was knocked against the ram wagon and fell to the other side, right in the path of the motorcycle. Klarg jerked the handlebars to the left and braked hard to skid around the huge animal, then swung around to correct his path and get back up next to the ram wagon.

This was all so exciting – Taako was clearly enjoying himself, firing off spells and yelling encouragement to his friends – but Klarg was still worried. People were getting hurt, some might have died. Taako might have died if Klarg hadn’t been there for him. He didn’t even have his safety harness anymore – Klarg could see Magnus running around on top of the ram wagon, wearing his. The thing was, Taako wasn’t safe with Klarg either. He heard that horn blast again, and this time he knew to get out of the way. Thankfully the motorcycle was quick and easy to maneuver.

“…Hey Klarg,” Taako said, when they were out of harm’s way.

“Yes sir?” Klarg’s ears flattened even as he said it – it was just habit, he’d said it to Lucas because he respected him, and he respected Taako so much too…

“Hey, um, can you scoot on over closer to the tank?” Taako asked, thankfully ignoring that slipup.

“That seems dangerous. Are you sure about this?” Klarg asked doubtfully.

“Oh, positively, my dude.”

Klarg obediently slowed down until he was matching pace with the Shark Tank, staying right next to it. “What are you gonna do? I’m – now I’m worried.”

“Hey, listen, we’re buds, right?” Taako cooed, his voice as soft as it could be in all the wind and noise. “For life?”

“Yeah, for – you’re my main – are you asking if you’re my main dude?” Klarg’s heart fluttered. Oh please, oh please, oh please…

“Yeah. Are we main dudes?”

“I would say absolutely we’re main dudes!” Klarg said joyfully, grinning, not caring about all the grit getting in his teeth.

“Excellent.” Taako smiled too, closed-mouthed. “Can you hop on that tank for me?”

That made Klarg pause. “What are you – what do you mean?” Klarg didn’t have a safety harness. There was no way into the tank. What could he possibly do?

“Yeah, I just – you know how the lasers keep shooting you and stuff? I’d really love it if you could hop on that tank for me.” There was a gleam in his eye – he was so smart! But…

“It seems like it might be dangerous…”

“Yeah, a little bit!” Taako agreed with a short laugh. “But like, buds! Dangerous levels!”

Klarg’s heart melted as the wizard smiled. “Of course, what am I saying… Danger is nothing between friends!” …And maybe more than friends, someday soon.

“Of course. Excellent. I’ll take the reins, no problem,” Taako said, clumsily standing up in the moving sidecar. “Just give it a leap.”

The two switched spots awkwardly, reaching over to steer or accelerate now and then, until Taako was driving and Klarg was in the sidecar. The elf looked so natural steering the motorcycle, and so comfortable there… Klarg watched him uncertainly for a moment before leaping across and grabbing onto the side of the tank.

“What’s the next… sort of… thing? What’s the next step here, boss?” he yelled over nervously.

“You just chill, just chill out, it’s gonna be fine,” Taako yelled back, glancing over at him.

“Okay, if you say so. Uh –“

“But listen, if you see the laser, don’t get hit by that!” the elf suggested, and before Klarg could form another coherent sentence, he added, “…But do make sure it does hit the tank, for sure.”

Oh. Klarg understood the plan now. It was dangerous – for him. Not… really for anyone else. And that was good! Taako and the others would be safe, that was… good. And Taako trusted him, and this… this was important. He’d prove that he could be counted on. He watched the wizard rev the engine and speed off to cast a powerful fire spell at the cricket-mask guys.

It didn’t take long for the horn to blast again, and when it did, he was ready. When the red beam shot out at him, he did a side-roll, holding onto the tank as he moved, then flipped up on top. It slid off – he’d thought it might, though he hadn’t been sure. But he stayed crouched low, and rode the top of the tank. This might actually go just fine! Maybe he could just coast to a nice smooth stop. Maybe Taako would even swing by and pick him up! Though that would mean Taako would be in danger from the laser again, which Klarg didn’t want… Not to mention, it would lose him valuable time. But it would be just divine to have Taako swoop in and save him like that.

Unfortunately the top of the tank hit a rock as it reached the ground and bounced up, rolling Klarg off to hit the ground hard and knocking the wind out of him. He lay gasping in the dust as the battlewagons left him behind.

From behind him, he heard shuffling and heavy breathing, coming gradually closer. He rolled painfully to his feet and turned to see a very badly-burned humanoid staggering towards him with a cricket mask hanging off the side of his head. A cold knot began to form in his stomach.

“You the guy who made Taako jump off that wagon?” he growled.

“I – I – I…” the cricket man stammered.

Klarg didn’t think twice: He punched the burned man, who went down with a sharp cry. Then he began limping slowly back the way he’d come. That motorcycle sure would be nice right about now.


	7. Herbal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klarg's not going to go to Neverwinter on his own. He needs a little push.

Ideally, Klarg would have liked to avoid all contact with any sentient beings for a while. There was plenty going on in Goldcliff behind him, he could tell, but he wanted no part in it. He’d just… walk all the way to the ocean, if he had to. Find a nice sea cave. Wake up early to go swimming. Eat fish every day. Collect shells. Sip a nice herbal tea while he watched the sunset. It sounded lonely, but maybe he could find a new pet.

But, big surprise, things weren’t going according to plan. He didn’t get 100 yards before people started showing up. There were medics checking on the fallen racers, pulling them onto carts, and taking them away to be healed. Not far behind them were the scavengers coming to grab whatever parts they could get, and a few non-racing teammates, running in to defend those parts and claim them for their own. Maybe he could slip away in the confusion…

“Hey! Big guy – bugbear!”

So much for that. Klarg’s lip curled into a silent snarl, and he kept walking. Some kind of cart approached him.

“Stop! Wait a minute!”

Klarg kept walking until the beast pulling the cart – a giant goat – was even with him, then he turned and grabbed one horn, pulling the goat’s head down and to the side in one fluid motion. The animal bleated and kicked, but Klarg held it easily.

In the cart was a tall, dark woman in red, with a feathered hat. “Whoa, easy on the goat there. I saw you in the race, you were good.”

That sounded like the beginning of a scam. Klarg snarled viciously, pushed the goat sharply to the side, and stomped away. After a moment, the cart caught up to him again.

“Do you race here a lot? I asked around, nobody seemed to know you.”

Klarg just growled. He was going to turn and throw her as hard as he could in a second here, if she didn’t shut up...

“I just wondered if you’d ever –“

He spun around and grabbed her arm, aiming to yank her out of the cart and fling her into the horizon. But she was ready, and she grabbed his wrist, twisted her other hand in his grasp, and heaved him up over her shoulder to land with a sharp thud on the floor of the cart. Klarg gasped for breath, and the woman turned to look down at him.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but if you’d just hear me out, I’ll let you go on your way. My name is Sabine. I’m part of the MidWorld Wrestling Federation, and… I’m sorry, you just look like you were born for the wrestling life. We’re getting geared up for Battlefest in Neverwinter, and we could use a few more good competitors. You’d obviously need a little training, but if you’re interested, it, ah… it does pay.”

Klarg took a swipe at her, which she dodged easily. “I’ve been looking for a partner, actually, but you could get by as a single, too.”

He could feel the rage building. “You – you just go up to… just anybody, and interrupt them and… and throw them around like that!? No wonder nobody wants to work with you!”

She laughed. “No, you’re the first, actually. And I did try to talk to you before I threw you. You looked pretty agile out there, especially for such a big guy. That’s what counts, really, but it helps if you look impressive – like you do. What do you think?”

He glared at her, and she just kept smiling.

“You’d definitely get a chance to throw me around, get me back for what I did to you.”

“Or I could just rip you in half and take your cart,” Klarg snarled, rolling to his feet. It wasn’t as easy a movement as it should have been. He was bruised all over, and stiff, and just generally in rough shape.

“You could try,” agreed Sabine. “Where’re you headed?”

“…West.” He wasn’t sure exactly where, and wouldn’t want to tell her if he was.

“Perfect! I’m heading back to Neverwinter. You can ride along, I’ll show you some moves.”

“What do you want?” he growled suspiciously.

“Can you cook?”

Klarg’s eye twitched. “Yes. Yes I can.”

“Perfect. It’ll be a better trip back than it was here, then.”

The bugbear clenched one huge hand into a fist, and clawed slowly down the wall of the cart with the other hand.

“Hey, careful. If this thing breaks, we walk.”

That really made him want to punch a hole in the cart, but he wasn’t feeling up for a walk all the way back to Neverwinter right now. However far that was… “How long’s it gonna take?”

“To get to Neverwinter? Three days, I’d guess. The goat’s not too fast.”

Klarg growled to himself and hunkered down in the cart. Sabine clicked her tongue to the goat, and he started to walk. Then she fished in a bag next to her and offered Klarg a bottle.

“You look like you could use a healing potion.”

He eyed it suspiciously. 

“I was going to use it myself, but I didn’t get in as much trouble as I planned on.” She laughed, and glanced back. “…What, you think it’s poison or something? Look.” She pulled off the cap and took a sip. “Good stuff. Unless you like sitting around in pain.”

Finally he grabbed it and guzzled it down. Oh, that was good… He sighed heavily and resettled himself in the cart. It was bumpy, but now that he was able to relax a little, it wasn’t so bad. The next time Sabine glanced back, he was snoring, flopped on the floor.

When he woke up, the sun was low in the sky, and the cart wasn’t moving. He sat up fast and looked around, grasping for his Morningstar – which wasn’t there, of course.

“Wondered when you might wake up,” Sabine said from a few yards away. She dropped an armload of wood on the ground. “I was just about to make a fire. Food’s under the seat there, and when the sun sets we can try to hunt a bit.”

Klarg growled to himself and rubbed his eyes. He felt much better. Under the seat were some dry noodles, some dried beef, a bottle of oil, salt, pepper, some carrots, onions, potatoes, and apples. And a couple of little tins: Tea and coffee. The tea smelled plain and old, but it was something. Klarg stood up and stretched, then jumped out of the wagon and headed off towards the scrubby hills.

“Where’re you going?”

He answered with a snarl, and kicked a rock ahead of him so it flew out of sight.

“Okay, then…” She’d done all she could, really. Probably more than she should have. If the bugbear was that dead-set against this, then fine. Somebody else could find the final Battlefest competitor. Maybe Jess, she seemed like she could just find wrestlers every time she turned around.

Klarg stalked off through the bushes. Time to cool off, time to be smart about things – people had been using him for ages. Time to use somebody else for a change. He could get a free ride as far as Neverwinter, then split from there. He’d already gotten a free healing potion, and would get to share the food. That tea wouldn’t do, though, not when there were better options around. He sniffed as he walked, and here and there he would pluck a leaf or a flower from a plant, tucking them in the thick fur behind his ear. He found a few overripe fruits high up on a tree too, and picked one to eat… But there was another smell here, and he picked a few more, set them on the ground, then cautiously climbed up the tree. He was still stiff and achy, but he felt more like himself now.

He sat in the tree for quite a while before the bushes rustled. A family of wild pigs came out and sniffed around a bit. They were cautious at first, but finally went for the fruit on the ground. Klarg waited until a smallish one was right under him, and dropped out of the tree, snapping the pig’s neck and swiping at the other pigs. They fled, squealing, and Klarg heaved the dead one over his shoulder and headed back. Sabine had a decent fire going, and was chopping up a potato and a carrot. Klarg tossed the pig down on the ground next to her, followed by some sagebrush and wild onions, and she jumped.

“I thought you’d left!”

“Your tea smells too old,” Klarg growled, taking the plants he’d collected. “These’ll make a better tea.”

She stared at him for a long moment. “…Tea?”

He bristled. “Yeah?”

She broke eye contact first and shrugged with one shoulder. “All right. There’s a pot in the cart, and there’s a lake over that way.”

When Klarg got back with water, Sabine was skinning the pig, skewering cuts of meat and organs on long sticks to roast.

He didn’t ask, but as they ate Sabine told him about her partner, Jess the Beheader. How well they worked together, complementing each other in every way. How Sabine had broken her leg and a few ribs; all clean breaks, but ones that took time to heal. How Jess had found herself a new partner, some ass named Brock Thickstone who didn’t have any idea how to work as part of a team, and it served Jess right.

“…Well that’s the best meal I’ve had in a while,” Sabine said with a contented sigh. “And that tea was incredible. Where’d you learn to make tea like that?”

Klarg’s ears flattened, and he shrugged with a grunt. “I like tea.”

“Okay, not much for talking. Got a name?”

“…Klarg,” he admitted grudgingly.

“That could even be your ring name. Usually better to pick something else, though. A little showier. It gives you some privacy in your personal life, if you want that.” She grinned conspiratorially. “I always liked the attention. Queen Sabine, that’s me.”

Klarg dug his claws into the dirt.

“It’s getting dark, but do you want to get some practice in while we can? …And you’ll be taking the first watch, since you slept through the ride, by the way.”

The bugbear growled and got to his feet. He was ready this time, and she was smaller than him. They circled for a bit, sizing each other up. He waited for her to make the first move… waited… and when she finally came at him, he feigned a strike, and came at her with an underhand swipe. She was quick, though. She danced out of the way and backed off again. They went back and forth for a while as the light grew dimmer, both trying to keep their backs to the sun. At last Klarg charged her, and she flipped him onto the ground, though she struggled to hold him down.

“You’re… very good, actually.”

Klarg kicked out with a roar.

“Thing is, so are all the rest of us.” She got her grip right and straightened up a bit.

“Good for you,” Klarg growled. “Don’t you wanna beat your competition?”

“Sure, but I want it to be a good fight. And people pay money for a good show, not an easy win. It’s more fun if we’re all on even footing.”

They sparred for a while longer: Klarg could see well in the dark, and it helped him pin Sabine a time or two. Finally she sat up slowly, rather than springing to her feet.

“Had enough for tonight?”

“You’re the one getting beat,” he huffed, stepping back. Sabine laughed.

“Sometimes. I’ll grant you that. But I want to get an early start tomorrow.” She stretched, leaning to one side so far that her body went horizontal, then the other, before heading off to unroll her sleeping bag. “Wake me when you get tired.”

Klarg huffed, stretching a bit himself, then sat down by the fire. He stared into it, tossing on twigs and listening to the night birds. It’d been nice sharing food, then fighting without trying to kill each other… Definitely wore down some energy he didn’t need. It was kind of… relaxing, in fact. Almost companionable.

Sabine rolled over and began to snore loudly, and the hair on Klarg’s back prickled up to stand on end. Maybe not that great, actually.


	8. Steeping

The two set out when the sun came up, after eating some leftovers from dinner. Sabine taught Klarg how to hitch and unhitch the goat, and how to drive the cart. Then she dozed for a good part of the morning. It was awfully trusting of her; he could have steered them off in a different direction. Or killed her. But they were already headed the way he wanted to go, and… he didn’t have anything against her. She was useful to him right now, definitely more-so alive than dead. That was all.

They stopped every few hours to give the goat a break, and they spent that time sparring or talking. She talked a lot about Jess the Beheader. Klarg talked, as vaguely as possible, about being estranged from his family, and about leading a pack of gerblins (and explained the minute differences between goblins and the small tribe of gerblins). He didn’t mention Yeemick. He also did not mention Taako, though he asked if she had ever heard of a charm spell lasting beyond the normal hour. She hadn’t. Maybe next time – no, being honest, he knew he wouldn’t think to ask Taako if they met again. Or he’d… oh, he’d think of some excuse not to. He growled softly at himself.

“Hm?” Sabine looked up from where she was tying up the goat.

“Nothing” Klarg snarled.

“Okay.” She shrugged.

Then he felt it. Bzzt.

Everything came into hyper-focus, and the world seemed to slow around him. He moved swiftly, catching Sabine off-guard. He grabbed her arm, twisted, and threw her on her back. She gasped to get her breath back, and swung to lever herself against his ankle and try to get behind him, but he flung her across the plain. She sat up to see him charging at her.

“Klarg?”

His answer was a wordless snarl as he brought his fists down at her. She rolled aside and was up in one fluid movement, dancing away.

“Does this happen often?”

“RRGH!”

Sabine managed to avoid him for a while, but finally she grabbed him and managed to pin him. It was lucky. Very, very lucky, but she held him down while he strained and raged.

“…Would this go faster if I knocked you out for a while?” she asked after a few minutes. Klarg roared and thrashed, or tried to. He’d kill her, he’d rip her apart, he’d kill Taako and Magnus and the dwarf, he’d kill everyone at the bugbear castle, he’d kill Garfield the Deals Warlock, he’d –

There was a sharp pain in the back of his head, and he blacked out.

When he came to again, he slowly sat up with a groan. Sabine, driving the cart, tensed and looked back at him.

“You okay there?”

“Rrrrrrrr…. Head hurts…”

She relaxed a bit. “My fault. I’m sorry. Is there a better way to snap you out of it next time that happens?”

“I dunno,” Klarg growled mournfully, rubbing his head.

“What triggers it?”

“I don’t know!” the bugbear snarled, clenching his fists.

“Okay! Just asking.” Sabine put up her hands. “Anything I can do to help?”

Klarg gave a noncommittal growl, and curled up in the cart.

When they stopped next, Sabine made a quick fire and gathered a few flowers and leaves, which she added to the dried tea. It wasn’t as good as Klarg’s mixture, but he sipped it gratefully.

“…Better?”

“…Better,” he rumbled grudgingly.

“Good.” She sat back. “Wanna tell me what the hell that was?”

Klarg bared his teeth at her.

“Okay, I’m all for respecting your privacy, and… and boundaries and all that, but you could have killed me back there. That was… that was not how you normally fight. Or how you normally are.”

Klarg clutched his mug and glared at the ground for a long moment. Once again, he thought about leaving. “…There’s a thing in my head,” he finally growled. “Guy used it to make me… different. Made me his butler. Whole family served him, but I – something happened, I broke. Dunno.”

Sabine watched as he spoke, and for a while afterwards. “…That’s beyond the realms of what I know,” she finally said softly. “And I don’t know anyone who might be able to fix it. A powerful wizard, maybe.”

Taako. Klarg snarled silently. “…One of those charmed me. Saw him again in the race, it was like I was charmed all over again. Can’t do anything except make him happy when he’s around.”

She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “I wonder if the… thing in your head is connected to the wizard’s charm spell.”

He blinked at her, then huffed and buried his head in his arms.

“Like I said, I don’t know about these things.” Her voice was soft and gentle, and Klarg wasn’t sure if he wanted to burst into tears or claw her face off. “But we can try to help you with that. Or at least help you deal with it so… everyone’s safe when you go wild.”

He didn’t want to answer that. He didn’t want to talk about this, he didn’t need her pity, he didn’t want anyone to even know about any of this.

“Who’s ‘we?’” he growled low.

“Oh, the other Battlefest wrestlers. They’re… an interesting bunch, but they’re good people.”

“I don’t know them. They’re competition, not… not help.”

“It’s up to you, of course, but… stick around long enough, and you become like family there. We take care of each other, we hang out on our time off, we beat each other to the mat then patch each other up.”

“…And I’ll try to kill them all,” Klarg muttered. “Might do it, too.”

“…And if you explain why, they’ll understand.”

“And still be dead.”

“We could figure it out. Somehow. Give us a chance.”

Klarg growled, the hair across his shoulders bristling.

“...Don’t see why you care, anyway,” Sabine said casually. “Are you even planning on sticking around once we reach Neverwinter?”

His head shot up and he glared at her. She didn’t move, didn’t flinch, just kept driving the cart. After ten minutes or so, she called back to him cheerfully, “Why don’t you drive for a while? I need to rest.”

He clambered up to the driver’s seat and took the reins, and she slid to the back of the cart to lie down, and he drove until the sun was low. Again, she made the fire and he gathered plants and a couple of small rabbits. She looked mildly surprised when he came back.

“Still with me?”

Klarg made a face and shrugged, tossing down the rabbits. “Til Neverwinter. Then… I dunno.”

“What then?” she asked quietly, taking the rabbits to skin. “Got plans over there?”

Klarg began to brew tea. “Find a cave by the ocean,” he mumbled, shrugging. “Never see another person again – bugbear, goblin, human, elf, nothing.”

Sabine threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, I’ve been there! No, I understand. That’s kind of where I was when I set out for Goldcliff. Just wanted to never see another living soul ever again.”

“You came up to me,” Klarg grumbled.

“Yeah. You were exactly who I set out to find.” She paused, staring down at the carcasses. “It gets lonely. I hadn’t been really alone like that in a long time. I think the time alone was good for me, but I really missed being with someone I… I loved.”

Klarg looked up, flabbergasted. “I – I’m not –!”

She glanced over at him and laughed. “Oh no, you’re not. Nothing like that, you’re no substitute for Jess. But you’re decent company anyway, and I’m glad you’re here, for as long as you choose to be.”

“I c’n toss you in a ditch and leave any time I want,” Klarg muttered, hunching his big shoulders.

“No need to toss me in a ditch. You’re here on your terms – if you want to leave, go ahead. I won’t stop you.”

He grumbled irritably. “…I’ll take first watch. Might be gone when you wake up.” It even sounded fake to him.

“I’d appreciate it if you’d wake me when you decide to go, so ruffians don’t get the drop on me.”

“Like they could,” Klarg scoffed, and Sabine cracked a smile as she stretched out on her bedroll.

“There were a couple bandits who tried to steal all my food the first night. They sure did cry a lot.” She chuckled, and so did Klarg.

In the morning they packed up and set out early, and watched as Neverwinter drew ever nearer.

Chaos Stadium was a massive structure, and easy to spot. There were already posters up advertising Battlefest. There were crowds of people swarming the streets, and Klarg glanced around at them nervously.

“…Are they all here for the fight?”

Sabine blinked and looked around. “…What? No, they – they live here. They’re just… shopping, and doing business, and whatever.”

Why would all these people want to live together? It was far too many. Klarg snorted in disapproval, and Sabine laughed.

“Never been to the city, huh?”

“Never wanted to,” the bugbear snarled. A few people near the cart edged away, and he turned to glare at them.

“It’ll be better inside the stadium. Just the fighters and the staff.”

“There’s staff too!?”

“Only a few. All the ushers and cleaners and such won’t arrive until the day of the big fight.”

Klarg grumbled to himself the rest of the way to the stadium, and glared at the gate guard Sabine waved to on their way in. He half expected them to be swarmed with… wrestlers and staff and anyone who’d happened to wander in. But Sabine jumped down, unhooked the goat, and put him and the cart away in the stables, making sure he had food and water. Klarg stood back, eyeing his new surroundings. This, right here, wasn’t bad.

From there they went to Sabine’s quarters in the stadium. “A lot of us who aren’t from around here just stay here at the stadium,” she explained, hefting her bag onto the bed. “I’ve looked at apartments in the city… Maybe if I get some prize money, that’ll happen.” She grinned. “Anyway. There’s an open room or two, if you want it.”

Klarg grunted noncommittally, though his ears were perked up in interest. Sabine led him next door – it was a small room with a human-sized bed, and a stack of dusty linens sitting on top. Klarg made a face.

“It’s awfully small,” he complained.

Sabine shrugged. “Take it or leave it. There aren’t any bigger rooms.”

He frowned and followed her out, and back down the stairs. Klarg sniffed the air, and the scent of cooking meat and onions and other things overpowered the dirt and sweat that were probably the normal scent of this place. Sabine straightened up, and her walk became more of a strut as she turned and entered another room. There had been a conversation going on, but it fell silent when she entered.

“Make room,” she said airily, without preamble or greeting, watching the door behind her. Klarg edged into the room, and when he did, she smiled and turned to the others. “Lots of room.”

There were six people at the table, and they were staring – mostly at Klarg. He could feel his hackles rising, his lip curling back.

“Who… who’s this, Sabine?” asked a big human with the roundest belly Klarg had ever seen. An aging human turned to the dwarf woman beside him and whispered to her, though Klarg’s ears picked it up easily.

“That a bugbear?”

“This, my friends, is Klarg,” Sabine said, gesturing grandly back at him. “He’s a natural.”

Klarg hadn’t noticed the aarakocra at the other end of the table, but his white wings fluffed up suddenly. “Being built like a mountain doesn’t make you a wrestler! It takes heart! And integrity!” he declared. …Yes, declared. Klarg bristled.

“Give him a chance,” Sabine said, patting his arm. “See what he can do. In the meantime, we’re starving! Move it.”

Sabine sat down at the near end of the table, leaving Klarg to edge around to the far end. The aarakocra squawked, startling him a bit, but quickly put a hand over his beak.

“Pardon me!” Maybe that was just how he talked. He did pass Klarg a plate and the dishes of food to serve himself from.

On Klarg’s other side was a goliath. His dark hair was neat and his clothes seemed too formal for this place. “Klarg, was it?” he asked politely. “Have you thought about what… persona you will be utilizing, should you prove yourself here?”

Klarg shifted uncomfortably, and took a big bite of meat to avoid having to answer. He shrugged. The rest of the table looked at him with varying levels of interest.

“Bugbear,” suggested a big human next to the dwarf, and Klarg noticed Sabine make a face. “To the point. Keep it real.”

“Fluffy.” The dwarf rocked back in her chair, laughing.

“Wolf… Wolfman,” suggested the older man.

“Beast!” the aarakocra cried out.

“Bug-Terror,” the round-bellied human offered, grinning.

Klarg bit back a growl. “What… what are your names? Ring-names?” Sabine pushed a stained teapot down the table, and he reached to take it and pour himself a cup while the old man complained bitterly that it was his tea.

“Jess the Beheader.” He looked closely at the dwarf. She looked tough, maybe on a different level than the rest of them. Crusty, gritty. Sabine kept glancing at her, and more subtly, she would glance back. There was a plain axe strapped to her back.

“Brock. Thickstone,” said the human next to her. He was covered in muscles, and had a guarded look about him. He had some big tattoos that were partially covered by his clothes. Lines and simple shapes – nothing too weird, Klarg suspected.

“I’m Dante.” The goliath next to him offered his hand, and Klarg noticed his finely manicured nails, but did not take the hand. He smiled a bit at Klarg anyway. “I’m something of a stage and costume manager. I can help you develop your brand, once you figure out what it is.”

“Jeff Angel!” the aarakocra shouted out, his white wings shooting out behind him, and getting caught up a bit on the chair. “Integrity! Hard work! Being nice to kids!”

“Close – close your wings, you’re going to spill something!” the older man complained. “I’m Death Man. Death Man! It – it sounds better with my face done, you’ll see!”

“Merrick,” said the round-bellied human, who was dressed too nice for a fighter, but not as well as Dante. He stroked his big beard. “I’m looking forward to seeing what you can do. K-Karl… what was it?”

“Klarg,” the bugbear growled, frowning.

“Got it. I’m the Battlefest CEO, and I’m looking forward to seeing what you have to offer.”

Klarg wasn’t sure what to say, so he just nodded and turned back to his food. Dante watched him eat for a moment.

“That ‘Wolfman’ idea might work for you, you’ve certainly got the look,” he said thoughtfully. “What do you think?”

“’M not a wolfman. Not a wolf. Not a man. Not a werewolf,” Klarg growled, glaring at him.

“Of course you’re not, but I’m thinking of a transformation intro that would be just phenomenal. See if we can play up the werewolf image without actually saying it.” He tapped his chin. “Wolfsbane – no! Something with the moon, maybe. Moonlight. Moonshine?”

“Children attend these matches!” Jeff interrupted indignantly, bringing a feathered fist down on the table. “Keep it appropriate!”

Klarg gnawed at his lip uncertainly. “Moon… Moonbeam?” he suggested hesitantly.

“I like it!” Dante exclaimed, a gleam in his eye. “I’m already thinking of a costume, and that entrance will be fabulous.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's not quite his voice, but I'm imagining Jeff Angel yelling everything he says enthusiastically. If you didn't read his lines like Duffman from The Simpsons, please go back and try again.  
> He and Death Man are so much fun.


	9. Brewing

“Think you can take on BROCK! THICKSTONE!?” the human screamed, and leapt at Klarg. The bugbear sidestepped smoothly and grabbed his arm (he wasn’t nearly as fast as Sabine), but the man used that to roll Klarg to the mat and pin him. The other fighters cheered from the sidelines, and Klarg was surprised to hear that Sabine wasn’t the only one cheering him on.

“Get up, get up, knock him out!” she called to him.

“You’re not so tough.” Brock flexed and grinned smugly as Merrick began the count. Klarg let the tension build in him until he burst to his feet with a roar, knocking the man to the mat and planting a foot on his chest. Brock roared back and struggled to get free, to squirm out, to pull Klarg over… and after a moment, a stray kick caught his other leg, and they rolled across the mat together. Klarg managed to get the better of him a few more times, but not for long.

“Jeff, get in there,” Merrick said, watching the two wrestle. “See how he deals with two on one.”

“That’s poor sportsmanship!” Jeff Angel said, puffing out his feathery chest.

“That’s what happens at Battlefest. Go!” He swatted the aarakocra towards the ring, and Jeff gave an indignant squawk before leaping up and flying down to grab Klarg and pull him upwards. The bugbear twisted and grabbed his leg, digging in his claws. Jeff Angel shrieked and flapped wildly.

“This is ridiculous, I’m gettin’ in there,” Death Man grumbled, climbing awkwardly through the ropes of the ring. He punched Klarg in the side, which hurt more than the bugbear was expecting, but then launched himself at Brock and tackled him to the mat.

“Yeah!” Jess cheered, and leapt into the ring as well, running up Klarg’s back to pull Jeff Angel out of the air. Sabine wasn’t far behind her, shoving Brock off of Death Man a bit harder than necessary and pinning him, flinging Death Man across the ring into Jeff.

The six left the ring panting and sweaty, but most of them had a spring in their step.

“Gettin’ old, DM,” Jess said to Death Man, laughing. “One of these days you’re gonna break a hip out there.”

“I was a champion long before… any of you were crawling! You watch your mouth.”

“Respect your elders!” Jeff exclaimed.

“You shut it too, kiss-ass,” the human grumbled, and the aarakocra chirruped indignantly.

Klarg broke off from the other wrestlers to follow Dante to his costume room. The goliath took his measurements.

“Take a look at these,” Dante said, offering Klarg a few papers with some rough drawings of outfits. They weren’t very detailed, but they managed to capture his shape accurately.

“Can I have a mask?”

“A… mask? Okay… What sort of mask?”

“One that covers my whole head.”

Dante was nodding slowly. “All right… Black with silver lines on it? I like it, that could work.”

It would help protect his identity a bit, at least. From whoever might recognize him – Lucas, Taako, the bugbears and the others at the castle…

“Yes, I think I can make that look good. You’ll cut quite the figure, Klarg. Now, here’s what I’m thinking for your entrance: The lights go out. A spotlight shines on a silhouette of a man on a big paper. There’s a howl – how’s your howl?”

“…Um. I – I’ve never tried.”

“We can always use a recording. Anyway. There’s a howl, and the silhouette changes to that of a gigantic werewolf, and you burst through! The crowd will love it!”

“You think?” Klarg asked, ears perked up a little.

“Oh, I’m sure of it!” Dante patted him firmly on the shoulder.

Klarg spent the next few days training with the other wrestlers. He preferred the one-on-one sparring – it just got so frantic with so many people in the ring, and he was afraid the stress would trigger the… whatever it was in his head.

The costume Dante came up with was pretty flashy, Klarg had to admit. Maybe even classy – all black and silver. It was easy to move around in, and it did hide a lot of his fur. He admired himself in the full-length mirror, turning a bit to the right, then the left. 

“It… it’s pretty good,” he mumbled gruffly.

“I thought so!” Dante chuckled. “Now, how about that howl of yours?”

Klarg glanced at him doubtfully. “A-awooo?” he tried.

“No, no, you have to commit!” Dante straightened up, and Klarg realized that he normally hunched down quite a bit. “Loud! Confident!”

“Ooooooo?”

“Come on, you can do better!” the goliath shouted.

Bzzt.

“RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!” Klarg stretched up to his own full height, which was not as tall as Dante but still quite impressive, and whipped around, making a grab for his arm.

“Klarg, what –“

The bugbear flung Dante a few feet before he dug his feet into the floor, skidding to a halt. He grabbed Klarg, moving slower, but with more thought and strength behind every movement. The two braced, pushing each other for a moment. Klarg snarled and huffed and raged, and Dante managed to capture both his hands, holding them firmly.

“What’s this, Klarg?” he asked, fairly calmly for the situation he was in. Klarg only roared again and yanked at his hands. He tried to kick out, but Dante quickly pushed him out of reach. “Klarg, talk to me. Everything was fine. The outfit’s good?”

“RRRRRRAAAAAHHHH!!”

“The entrance? Your howl was getting better.”

“RRRRRRR-I’M NOT A FUCKING WEREWOLF!”

“…All right, then. Howl’s gone, I can get a sound effect. Will that work for you?”

Klarg kept raging and pulling, but now he was trying to pull away. Dante pulled him over to the door, which he kicked open.

“Can you calm down?”

The bugbear struggled harder. “I just wanna KILL something!” he shouted.

“All right… I’m going to let you go, but if you come at me again… I will tie your arms in a bow behind you. Go straight to the ring, the others are there.”

“KILL ‘EM!”

“Hopefully not.” With that, Dante released him, and Klarg’s hands balled into fists as he shrieked in fury. He bounded towards the ring, and was only dimly aware of the goliath following him.

“Watch out!” Dante called sharply to the others, and then Klarg was upon them.

He leapt over the ropes, flinging Death Man into Brock with a flick of his arm, and charged at Jeff Angel, clawing at his feathers. There was startled shouting around him, but it barely registered until his legs were grabbed out from under him and there was a dwarf sitting on his back. He turned to grab her, to get away, but Sabine had his arms by that time. He twisted and thrashed, gnashing his teeth and screaming.

“We have to knock him out,” Sabine said matter-of-factly. “This happened while we were on our way here.”

“Hold on – give him some time, he showed signs that he wasn’t completely insensible,” Dante said from the side.

“Knock him out, I like that idea,” Brock grumbled, pushing Death Man out of his path and punching his fist into his other hand.

“No, listen, I let him go, and he could’ve come at me again, I was right there. I told him to take it to the ring, and that’s what he did.” Dante leaned over the ropes. “Klarg, you’re aware of what you’re doing, aren’t you?”

“I WANNA RIP SOMETHING APART!”

“…Okay, so go for it,” Merrick spoke up from the other side of the ring. “There’s five of you, one of him. Fight it out.”

Jess and Sabine looked at each other, then the other three fighters, and as one, they leapt away from Klarg. He shot up with a roar, and in an unspoken agreement, the five wrestlers started tag-team attacking him.

Death Man was surprisingly savage, but he didn’t have a lot of stamina. Brock Thickstone seemed out for blood, and didn’t care much when he got raked by Klarg’s claws. Jeff Angel was showy, but he took the fight seriously, and knocked Klarg dizzy with his powerful wings. Sabine was elegant and fast, and managed to avoid the bugbear’s attacks the most. Jess landed the hardest hits, and managed to slam him into the mat a couple of times. The second time he got the wind knocked out of him, and lay gasping. Sabine stepped back out and put up her hand, and they all watched for a long moment.

“You back with us?” she questioned.

Klarg’s head flopped back as he began to catch his breath, and he nodded tiredly.

“Shit, that was some kickass fighting,” Jess said, grinning as she walked up and slapped him lightly (for her) on the shoulder. “I take it it’s not something you can just… turn on when you want to, though?”

He shook his head, swallowing thickly.

“That’s even better!” Brock raved, a gleam in his eye. “You’re savage, unpredictable! You could really take that places!”

“It’s dangerous!” Jeff squawked, fluffing his feathers uncomfortably. “For you and others.”

Death Man elbowed him sharply, and the aarokocra let out a startled peep. “Look at ‘im, think he don’t know that? Gotta learn to use that danger, Fuzzy. It takes discipline and practice.” He elbowed Jeff again. “Right? Right?”

“O-of course!”

“Not a quitter, are you?” The old man leaned over Klarg, staring down at him critically.

The bugbear sighed and shook his head, rolling to sit up. Sabine clapped him on the shoulder, and the others followed suit.

“Nice work, all of you!” Merrick said. “Take a break. Not too long, though. The qualifiers are in a week.”

The six of them spent the week sparring, and each of them had a promo match, fighting any challengers who presented themselves. It was fun to face so many different opponents, especially when they were just there for fun or for the challenge, not to kill anyone. A few even asked for Klarg’s autograph. His handwriting was terrible, but he managed to scrawl ‘MOONBEAM’ and draw a rough crescent shape across whatever surface they handed him.

When the day came, there was quite a crowd waiting to get in the doors. The six of them made their entrances – Klarg liked what Dante came up with for him. And after the initial nerves, the cheering crowd was… exhilarating. Nobody knew him here, but they wanted him to win. Or, well, they wanted to see him fight. But maybe some of them wanted him to win! That was… encouraging.

“Do you think we’ll all get through to the final round?” he whispered to Sabine as he watched Dante play up the crowd.

“Oh – Klarg, don’t worry about that. We’ll get through. This is a formality, it’s mostly for show. …The Battlefest, though, is the real deal.” She smiled up at him. “Just have some fun. Don’t worry about losing today. Hold your own, and put on a show.”

The seasoned Battlefest veterans had it easier than the new ones. Jess fought Jeff Angel, and Death Man fought Sabine. They all made it interesting to watch, and gave folks their money’s worth without dragging things on forever. Brock and Klarg were new, though, so they had to prove themselves.

Putting on a show was tricky, Klarg didn’t consider himself much of a performer. But he stretched to his full height and roared at the top of his lungs after bursting through the paper Dante had painted. The crowd went wild, and his ears got hot and pricked up. His head felt fuzzy all of a sudden, and he was afraid the thing in there had fizzled and was going to make him try to kill everyone… but nothing else changed. He was still in control. The spotlight panned over to focus on the next fighter, but Klarg threw his head back and howled. It wasn’t anything like a wolf, and the spotlight was jostled momentarily.

The next fighter wore an outfit similar to Klarg’s, but red with black sequins. His round belly was unmistakable.

“M-Merrick?” Klarg asked, trying to keep his voice low.

“Work on your timing, you ruined my entrance,” the Battlefest CEO hissed, and tackled Klarg. The bugbear braced himself quickly. He’d never seen Merrick fight before, but the human man was fierce, and pulled no punches. Klarg had never seen him like this before: His eyes smoldered, and if the bugbear hadn’t known better, he would have thought he was trying to really hurt him. Of course, Klarg knew how to fend off his attacks, to wrestle him down, but let him get up again briefly. Finally he pinned the manager to the mat and held him there until the count was complete, then quickly leapt back. This was his boss, after all, and it was weird to be doing this to him. Merrick got up too, a little slower, and gave him a curt nod before exiting the ring. Klarg followed him out nervously. A few spectators tried to hand them things as they left – Merrick knocked a bunch of flowers out of someone’s hands, and Klarg flashed them a worried look as he stepped through the curtain into the back.

“Did – I’m sorry, did I do something wrong out there?” he growled uncertainly once they were backstage.

“Hm? No, once we both got in the ring, you were fine. Nice work out there!” He smiled, patting Klarg’s bicep.

Klarg drank a healing potion and ducked his head out to watch Brock fight. He was facing Dante, who had made it very clear that he was not a fighter, and who didn’t look happy, but he did cut an impressive figure. He moved with competence and precision, and his very defensive style complemented Brock’s barrage of nonstop attacks perfectly. They threw each other across the ring almost like they were playing catch, and finally Brock suplexed Dante, which was quite impressive. He came down hard on the goliath, who stayed down for the count. The crowd roared their approval.

“That was really cool!” Klarg said, grinning, as Brock brushed past him, carrying an armload of flowers. Klarg wondered if he should have grabbed some, but it would probably look tacky to go back out and see if anyone would give him any now. …And if he waited for everyone to leave, anything left would be badly trampled. Well, he’d missed his chance this time. Klarg sneezed violently twice, then waited for a third, but it didn’t come. He and Brock went back out after a moment, to the roar of the crowd. Brock shouted and shook his fists and flexed, and Klarg eyed him and tried to do the same. He couldn’t quite summon the motivation to howl again, but the crowd seemed to approve anyway. The other four joined them, and the cheering was deafening.

As they left the ring and went backstage, Merrick stepped into the ring to talk to the crowd, and Dante clapped Klarg on the shoulder as he ducked behind the curtain. No one seemed to have any flowers anymore.

“You looked great out there! The entrance, the costume… and you really got into it! That’s what makes the whole thing. Good job.”

Klarg’s ears rose, and he tried to bite back a grin. “It was pretty fun! I didn’t know Merrick fought.”

“Oh, not usually. He’s more of a magic user, but this isn’t that kind of event. He can hold his own, though.”

“You were pretty good too! Really… really well-balanced with Brock.”

Dante shrugged. “I fill in where I’m needed. And all he ever does is attack, which is fine, because I would rather deflect and defend.”

“Hey guys, c’mon, we’re going out for drinks!” Jess said, stumping over to them. “Merrick’s buying, get ready to get hammered!”

Klarg dragged off his mask and fidgeted with it. “I – I guess.”

“Good, cause it’s not optional.” She guffawed and slapped him as high on his back as she could reach. “Where’d Brock go?”

“He went to the locker room, perhaps to refresh himself,” Dante said, nodding towards the locker room.

“Aw, I’ll go get him. Brock! Get the lead out, we’re goin’ out!” She sauntered into the locker room, and Sabine stepped over to Klarg.

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” she said softly. “…But we’d all like you to.”

“I’ll go,” Klarg said, nervous and eager.

“None of you kiddos can keep up with the real adults anyway, and you look like a lightweight,” Death Man grumbled.

“Public drunkenness is against the law, and it’s not cool!” Jeff Angel yelled, and flapped his wings, creating a light breeze.

“Hey – hey guys!” Jess called, running back to the doorway of the locker room. “Brock’s… he’s dead!”


	10. Ginger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battlefest Championship match!  
> Poor Klarg is just confused about life.  
> (some dialogue and plot taken from the McElroys for the last time, some changed just a bit for my own dark purposes)

The five wrestlers, Merrick, and Dante stood around talking to the Neverwinter standing militia. Brock Thickstone lay sprawled across the locker room floor, clutching a bouquet of purple lily-like flowers that had darkened as they began to wilt. They were still wilting, and the militia was working on containing them before drawing their chalk outline around the body. Everyone had been questioned extensively, and finally the city’s forensic warlock came over.

“Those flowers he’s holding, there’s a strong curse on them. From what I could tell, it wouldn’t’ve activated for a few minutes, but once it did, his death should’ve been pretty much instant.”

No one was in the mood to go out when the militia finally left, taking the body away, but Klarg and Dante made some peppermint tea and the others drifted down to the kitchen one by one.

Jess wasn’t usually the type to be very emotional, but she was obviously shaken. She clutched her mug with white knuckles, staring at the tabletop. Sabine sat beside her, watching the dwarf out of the corner of her eye. She had murmured a soft, “I’m sorry,” and Jess had nodded, and they didn’t speak to each other beyond that.

Jeff Angel kept his head bowed all night, and only let out the occasional subdued warble. Death Man looked up about halfway through his tea.

“He was a… a good wrestler. Reminded me a lot of me, when I was a youngster. I was… was really looking forward to facin’ him in the ring, for real. That’s no way for a fighter to go down.” He shook his head and pulled a glass jar out of somewhere, twisted off the lid with some difficulty, and took a deep swig before passing it to Jess.

“Brock was a good guy. Good partner. Really had spirit,” the dwarf choked out, and took a gulp.

“He fought well,” Sabine said solemnly, taking a moderate drink from the jar.

Jeff took a sniff, then took the smallest of sips. “He was one of us. He fought with honor,” he rasped, and fluffed his feathers.

Klarg took a small drink, and clamped his mouth shut so he wouldn’t cough. It was terrible. “He was… he was really… strong, and… and pushed himself really hard,” he choked out, tears coming to his eyes. Jeff patted him on the back, and he struggled to clear his throat without interrupting the solemn atmosphere. A sip of tea helped.

“He was fantastic,” Merrick mumbled, troubled. “A kid after my own heart. Just… he had so much potential, and I can’t believe… This is a terrible loss.”

“It’s terrible to lose one of our own,” Dante murmured, eyes downcast. “He fought with a ferocity I’ve rarely encountered.”

They continued to pass around Death Man’s jar, and when it was empty Merrick brought in a bottle of brandy. Klarg liked that a little better, but he still made more tea for Jeff, and for himself and the others to sip on now and then. Everyone but Jeff ended up a least a little tipsy by the end of the night, and Jess had to be carried to bed, where Sabine said she’d keep an eye on her, but fell asleep right after making sure the dwarf was in a safe position to sleep.

Dante made them all eggs and toast in the morning, as they all eventually stumbled down to the kitchen. Klarg made more tea, ginger this time. He, Sabine, Jeff, and Dante were in decent shape, but Jess and Death Man looked awful. Merrick didn’t even show up to eat, but Dante assured them he was in his quarters, and doing all right. The big fight was coming up soon, and none of them said anything out loud, but many concerned glances were exchanged.

Finally Jess sighed heavily and pushed her dishes away. “We – we’ll have to find somebody else pretty fast. I know a guy… Have to see if he’s up for it, but he’d be good. Met him on the train.” She paused, swaying a bit. “Maybe he c’n bring his friends along, they sure solved that murder pretty good. Maybe the kid too, wherever he is. I’ll write ‘em a letter, see if… see if they can help.”

Sabine nodded, seeming to know what she was talking about, but Klarg had no idea. He didn’t realize who she meant until the day of the match.

The stadium was packed, and the crowd was cheering and booing. Whoever Jess had written to had arrived, and from the sound of things, the crowd did not like them.

“That’s all part of the act,” Death Man muttered, waving off the bugbear’s concern. “They’re here to be heels.”

“It’s disrespectful,” Jeff Angel crowed more quietly than usual.

Klarg watched Death Man go out, then it was his turn. His entrance had been tweaked a bit, and it seemed even more impressive now. There were people holding up signs and cheering for him, and that was fantastic! This new bear guy wasn’t so tough. Death Man had taunted him, and Klarg did the same.

The older fighter stalked up and grabbed his shoulder. “No, you can’t –“ he hissed irritably.

“…Yeah, I just did that.” Death Man was so crabby, and he could get over it. Klarg was just showing solidarity with him and the others, anyway.

Jeff came in next, and he followed up his entrance with some taunt about the bear-guy not calling his dad enough. Klarg hadn’t thought of his family in a while, but he grimaced when the aarakocra said that.

Bear Guy was pretty good, though Klarg, in all his meager experience, could tell a beginner to the wrestling ring. And the other guy realized it too, because he asked if Klarg would team up with him to take out Death Man. That wasn’t going to happen. Bear seemed awfully good-natured about it, though. Almost seemed a little familiar, too. But he had the guy pinned.

Then something, or someone, fell on him, startling him and knocking him off. And the dwarf in a weird suit (that had to be one of Dante’s creations) hit him with a ladder. Jeff, who had been invisible at the time, was hit too, and fell back into visibility with an affronted squawk. It hurt, and before he could strike back, Bear Guy – I’Morko, it was I’Morko, which apparently means the same thing in Elvish – tried to hit him a couple more times with the ladder. He swatted it away with a roar, and the bear hightailed it over towards Jess and Sabine.

Klarg turned to rush I’Morko, he was so furious! He’d pound him into a furry grease stain in the mat, he’d tear him apart!

But… but then he caught a whiff of something. He straightened up and sniffed the air, and the smell of… of almonds and charcoal and some sort of tropical flower… He knew that smell. And everything went soft.

He couldn’t see Taako, but now he could trace the smell, and he ran over and hugged the wizard, picking him up and reaching up to straighten his hat, which had fallen askew.

“…Taako! What the blazes are you doing here?”

The elf looked frightened and confused, so he pulled off his mask and smiled. “As I live and breathe, Taako, my dearest friend! What are you doing here?”

Taako gulped, eyes shifting back and forth. “…Well. I was invisible. And now I’m not, so thank you for that, that’s good…”

Klarg’s ears drooped a little. “I’m sorry. I thought I smelled your… beautiful musk!”

“A-and indeed you did, very perceptive of you!” Taako laughed nervously, looking up at Klarg. Did he… was he still afraid? Did he think that Klarg would ever do anything to… Oh, no, he shouldn’t think that. Of course Klarg had been… upset… (something itched in the back of his mind) But he wasn’t angry.

“I just want to say, I want to clear the air. The last time we saw each other, you made me jump off of a motorcycle, onto a tank, into a laser beam.” There was that itching sensation again, but he was fine, he had survived, he was perfectly calm, and Taako was here, and everything was okay. “…And I just want to say, I understand why you had to do that. And I’m not angry.”

“Sure. Uhhhh… It’s good to see you…”

“It’s very good to see you.” Klarg smiled fondly at his closest friend, who stammered incoherently. “…I have a new tea backstage I’m very excited about, I think you’re going to love it.” The blend of wasteland herbs and flowers he’d gathered while he traveled with Sabine would be perfect!

“First off, let’s say the obvious,” Taako said hurriedly, smiling stiffly. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to try and kill ya…”

“That was really sweet. I… I have something I also want to –“

Bzzt.

Klarg went stiff. He heard Taako curse under his breath, and his mind was on fire. Taako, his sweet, dear friend, who had tricked him and stolen from him, who had saved his life, who was sweet and beautiful and didn’t care about putting Klarg in danger, who never even talked to Klarg unless he needed something, who was going to die now. His grip tightened on the elf and he sprang to the top rope of the ring, then leapt ten feet straight up in the air and suplexed him, diving on top of him, leaving him gasping and prone.

“You made me jump off of a motorcycle, onto a tank, and get shot by a laser!” Klarg snarled, heaving deep breaths and baring his teeth in Taako’s face.

“…True,” the wizard gasped out, struggling under him a little. “Guilty. Listen. Listen, listen. Taako earned that one. That’s a – I’ll grant you that suplex for free. Don’t do it again, I will literally die.” Then he took a ragged breath and lay back, eyes glossing over, lips moving now and then. Klarg fought the impulse to punch his face in, or to pick him up and cradle him and take care of him.

While he was deciding, Taako blinked back to awareness, pointed to the ceiling, and cast a spell. A thick mist formed, and Klarg could smell it (it was terrible), but it was above them. Then he heard a noise, and looked up just in time to be caught full in the face by the cloud blowing down into the ring. He choked and gagged, as did the other wrestlers around him. Jeff, who had been higher up, took an especially big lungful of the poison gas and fell to the mat, flapping desperately.

By the time he’d cleared his eyes and his throat, there was a cloaked figure accusing Taako of being an acolyte, talking about war gods and cults… Klarg’s head was still spinning, and it was hard to focus, but he managed to not attack anyone, at least. That was an important step… for the time being.

The figure went on to explain that the whole championship, all of Battlefest, had been set up to revive some ancient god. Of course it had, everything he was involved in ended up being for someone else’s ulterior motive! He clenched his fists. But she was the one who had killed Brock. Because apparently he was working for this cult. Klarg didn’t know what to think about that, but he didn’t have much time to ponder it.

Five red arms emerged from the mat as a swirling vortex opened in the center. The fighters all jumped back to the edges of the ring. Dante had run out, and looked at a loss for what to do. Merrick –

Merrick had cut open his robes, and his huge round belly was some kind of… red orb, or gem. And he was laughing. When Klarg thought to look around the ring, he realized the others were gone. Just gone. They’d left him with these… these traitors, these people he hated, who had used him over and over, and he could feel the rage boiling up inside him. They started fighting the red arms, and Klarg – he wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t want to be just a pawn for these guys to use whenever they came across him. But an ancient evil god of war didn’t sound good either. And running wasn’t an option, he wasn’t even considering that.

Come to think of it, if Merrick was doing this thing, he’d been using Klarg too. Using all of them – unless the rest of them were in on this too, the whole time!? …No, Brock had been, but the others… no, not them. Anyway, they would’ve stayed to fight if they’d been part of this. No.

The orb flew away from Merrick, and he produced a red Mage Hand, but then a blue Mage Hand popped up and caught it, and…

Was that… was that Taako’s son? He didn’t look elven. But the way Taako talked about him and looked at him… maybe he’d adopted the boy? Anyway, they had some kind of relationship, and Taako was so proud of him… 

That must be nice. The thought filtered in through Klarg’s haze of anger and confusion and hurt, and his chest tightened. Nice to have someone to count on like that, who thought you were worth taking pride in.

And suddenly Magnus was talking to him. Calling him a worthy opponent.

“Yeah, I know,” Klarg growled miserably. “I’m huge and big and you’ve almost killed me like six times just… doing things you want me to do.”

“But I also know that you have a good heart,” the fighter continued, and Klarg glared darkly at him.

“I don’t. I promise, I’m a big… I’m…” He didn’t know what to do now, but he was so mad, and he stood up, was going to punch Magnus right in the teeth –

And then he went rigid and everything felt nice.

“…Thank you, Magnus,” he said, softer now. “I really wanted to hear that.”

Magnus smiled encouragingly and tossed him the orb, which wasn’t glowing as brightly now.

“What do you think about me?” Taako called, wiping some blood from his face and grinning hopefully. He had such a beautiful, sweet face…

“Since the day the three of you came into my life… I have been enriched in a way that I – AAAHHHHHHHH!”

His head jerked with the force of the shock from within, and everything burned, and he seethed with fury. Taako still had that dumb smile on his face, but it had frozen, and Klarg leapt at him, still holding the orb. But he stopped just short of the attack. His head felt tingly, weird. Not like a charm, not like the burning. He looked at Taako again, then back to Magnus, and he took a deep breath, opened his mouth, and the words just rushed out.

“I just… love you guys so much! I never had a friend before this and I know that you’ve taken advantage of me a lot but I can also sense the good in you and I just want to say I think you’re the best dudes I’ve ever met, and do you want to go take a trip to Aspen with me?” It all came out in one breath, and left him blinking and befuddled.

“Actually, that sounds great!” Magnus smiled.

“M-my dad has a cabin in Fantasy Aspen and I think we’d have a really great weekend there together,” Klarg spat out, looking around, a bit lost. He could feel the blood rush to his face, and his ears were pinned to his head from the stress. Was that – why did he say all that? Why would he want… but wouldn’t it be great to get together with them some time when they weren’t trying to fight something off, way out away from all this craziness, and… and just talk? Just figure out what was going on and how everybody felt? That would be such a relief, and then maybe he could move on a little… as long as he never saw Taako again after that.

The arms disappeared in a puff of smoke, and then so did the orb, and he stood there, blinking down at his empty, sooty hands. “I just… don’t know what to do,” he mumbled.

Magnus perked up and stepped over to him. “My man! We met a whole family of bugbears down in Lucas What’s-His-Face’s lab. They’re totally cool! We saved them. They’re fine. Do you want to hang out with them?”

Klarg’s ears came up sharply. “They’re still – you’re telling me my family still wants me back, after what –“

“Yes!” Magnus insisted, and the other two nodded along with him. Klarg felt tears prick his eyes, and he wiped his face with the back of his arm.

“Th-that’s amazing!” Words caught in his throat, and he fled the ring as Jess came back in.


	11. Earl Grey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Klarg finally has a talk with Taako, with some help from friends on both sides.

When Klarg left the ring, he ran into the remaining three wrestlers and Dante in deep discussion.

“No – I had no idea!” Sabine was saying.

“Well you must have known, you’ve been close to him the longest!” Death Man said, pointing at Dante.

“I – I honestly just thought he was putting on weight, he didn’t say anything, didn’t do anything suspicious,” the goliath insisted, putting up his hands nervously.

“Moonbeam!” Jeff Angel cried out, putting a clawed hand on his arm. “You’re all right!”

“Thank goodness,” Sabine breathed.

“You – you all just left me!” Klarg exploded, flicking off Jeff’s hand. “You left me to die out there! What the hell!”

“We thought you were right behind us,” Death Man shot back. “Why didn’t you run?”

“Why – why did you all run!?”

“Did you see those hands?” Death Man exclaimed. “Are you crazy!? We don’t have a death wish!”

“I – did you see how easily we destroyed them!?” Klarg fumed. “Literally like… a few compliments! Like three, maybe four!”

“We could have done that,” Jeff spoke up regretfully.

“Yeah, ya think!?” Klarg growled, stomping past them. “You guys just… you ran, and you left me to die.”

“That’s – that’s not what we meant to do,” Sabine said, coming after him. “But it’s – I’m sorry.”

“It was wrong,” Jeff mumbled.

“You’re still alive,” Death Man muttered. “…No thanks to us, but you’re alive.”

“And you’re all right?” Dante asked in a low voice.

Klarg paused. His emotions were still a hurricane, but the ragged outer edges were beginning to quiet.

“What’re you all gonna do now?” he asked roughly instead of answering the question. “Merrick’s dead.”

There was an uneasy silence for a long moment.

“We’ll figure it out, I guess,” Sabine replied quietly, looking around to the others. “Right? Keep going… Dante, you’re decent at… the business side of things, aren’t you?”

Dante nodded slowly. “I… suppose, though I don’t… necessarily want to take on the role of CEO.”

“Well… we’ll talk when Jess is here, it should be something we all agree on.”

“You didn’t – I’ve been a part of this longer than any of you!” Death Man complained. “Aren’t you going to ask me?”

She looked at him in surprise. “…Do you want to take over Merrick’s position?”

“No! Of course not, why would I want something like that!?”

Sabine chuckled and shook her head. “Right. Let’s go see how Jess is faring – I hope she’s winning, or we’ll never hear the end of it.”

They headed back out to watch the end of the final match, but Klarg hung back.

“Come on, don’t – don’t drag your feet!” Death Man snapped.

“Y-you want me around still?” Klarg asked doubtfully.

Jeff Angel turned and seemed to be glaring, though that might just have been the structure of his face. “You’re one of us! No question of that!”

“As long as you want it, you’ve got a place here,” Sabine agreed softly, holding the curtain back.

Klarg rumbled quietly and followed them, eyes downcast. Jeff Angel cooed, Sabine gave him a companionable nudge, and Death Man punched his arm, but not too hard. Dante offered a smile, walking next to him.

“Good to have you with us,” the goliath said.

Klarg glanced over at him with a mixture of gratitude and embarrassment, then they turned their eyes to the ring just in time to see Jess throw Magnus to the mat, grabbing both wrists in one thick hand and both ankles in the other like she was hog-tying him. The other wrestlers cheered loudly, and Klarg’s stomach twisted as he tried not to look at Taako. It was impossible, though, and his eyes were drawn to the wizard, who was jeering at Magnus, taunting him. The dwarf was yelling at him to get up, and the little boy was watching worriedly, yelling encouragement. What good friends Taako had… He deserved the best.

The bugbear shivered and dragged his eyes away. “H-hey… I – after the… the match, I need to… I…”

The others glanced at him as he swayed and struggled to speak.

“Well? Spit it out!” Death Man snapped.

“I need to talk to T-Taaaaaako,” Klarg finally managed to grit out, teeth clenched.

“Who’s that?”

“…Wizard.” He jerked his head towards Taako without looking at him.

“So? Do it!”

Klarg squeezed his eyes shut. “Rrrg… Can’t, I – can’t.” He dug his nails into his palms for a moment longer before spinning and rushing back behind the curtain again, where he exhaled and started savagely punching the large punching bag in the corner.

“Are you… all right?” Dante ducked back inside.

“Nnn.”

“Why can’t you talk to Taako?” the goliath asked quietly, stepping a little closer. “He did seem a little… hard to approach, I suppose, but –“

“No, I – he charmed me,” Klarg growled, punching harder. “Long time ago. But it stuck. Every time I see him, I’m charmed. I know it doesn’t work that way. It does for me. I… I wanna know why. I just – I can’t ask him, my brain melts, all I can do is… try to make him happy.”

Dante frowned. “…Is that what happened in the ring?”

“Yeah. That and other stuff. I just – if somebody’s there, maybe… c-could you help… or anyone, any of you would… would be fine, I just, I can’t…”

A big hand clapped down on his shoulder, and Dante nodded. “I can help.” And Klarg shuddered and nodded, unable to say anything in response. “And you know the others would do the same, right?”

Klarg snuffled a bit.

“They would.” He patted Klarg’s back. “Are you ready?”

“Never gonna be ready,” the bugbear sighed, but he turned and walked back out to the ring, Dante following him. Jess was wearing the Champion’s Belt, grinning at Magnus, who was smiling sheepishly. Taako was smirking down at his boy, who gazed up at him with an adoration Klarg knew all too well.

“T-Taako?” he stammered, and tried to steel himself. But then the elf turned around, and all his defenses melted away. He was just so beautiful, and Klarg was so glad he was here.

“Hey, Klarg! Good to see you again. As usual. You, uh… you makin’ things work here? As a pro fantasy wrestler?”

“Oh yes! It’s – it’s going so well, I really like it here. But I’m so glad to see you!” Dante nudged him gently, and he swallowed, looking away from that radiant face for a moment. “C-could you, um… Would you like some tea? I – I really do have a new blend, it’s phenomenal, I made it myself.”

“Weeeeeeell… I can’t stay here too long.” Taako looked around. “It’s past Ango’s bedtime – even if it is his birthday!” He narrowed his eyes at the boy, who slipped up beside him.

“Sir, I stay up much later than this, pretty regularly.” He smiled and offered his hand. “Hello, sir! I was watching the match, you were really good!

Klarg smiled back, ears relaxing, and took the boy’s hand gently in his own larger one. “I’m glad you had fun – and, and happy birthday! You – are you Taako’s… son?”

The boy reddened and laughed. “Oh no, I’m – I’m his student, and… his very good friend!” He glanced over at the wizard, who didn’t seem to be paying him any attention at all. “My name’s Angus McDonald, and I am the world’s greatest detective! It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Moonbeam, sir!”

“Yeah… Agnes, this is Klarg, and he and I go back… way before he started going by ‘Moonbeam.’” Taako used air quotes as he said it, and laughed.

“That – actually, I… I wanted… I’m sorry, did you want any tea?” Klarg asked anxiously. “I can brew up a whole pot, and we can all sit down together.”

Dante cleared his throat. “We can have tea if that’s what you want, but my friend here is hoping for an explanation.” He stared down at Taako.

“Uh, yeah, I –“

“I’d like some tea!” Magnus spoke up, coming over.

“I’d take it if you’ve got it,” said the dwarf with a shrug.

Jess leapt off the ropes and landed next to Dante with a grin, gripping the Champion’s belt, and Sabine followed at a more sedate pace. Jeff Angel and Death Man wandered over as well, but hung back a bit.

“Whew, yeah, looks like a whole fucking tea party in here,” Taako sighed.

The little kitchen was too small to hold them all, so they moved to a large training hall, and pulled in a long table and benches. Klarg fussed over the tea, and Sabine stood near him. When he was sure no one was looking, Angus sidled up to Jeff Angel.

“Um, sir? Do… do you think you could maybe… sign this poster I got?” he whispered out of the corner of his mouth.

“Of course!” Jeff cried, fluffing his feathers, and Angus jumped and looked around nervously. “Always willing to give a fan a token of my appreciation!” He signed his name with a flourish while Angus frantically shushed him. When the boy turned around, poster clutched in one hand, he spotted Magnus glaring at him, shaking his head slowly, and seemed to wilt a little.

When the tea was ready (and Klarg put together a little tray of cookies, scones, and toast to go with it), they all sat down together, and introduced themselves.

“It – let me tell you just what… an honor – no, a privilege – it is to have you here… Taako, and your friends.” Klarg smiled dreamily across the table.

Sabine cleared her throat. “Yes, we’re all glad you’re here, because I understand you’ve laid a permanent Charm spell on Klarg.”

Death Man and Jeff Angel looked at each other, then Klarg, then the visitors in surprise. Angus looked over at Taako as well.

“Did you, sir? Is that even possible?”

“Listen…” The elf sipped his tea. “…It’s not. I didn’t realize that would last longer than an hour. But, funny thing, when we were up in Lucas’s lab a while ago? He was saying he put… um, something in all the bugbears’ heads…”

“Inhibitors?” Magnus supplied.

“Yes, inhibitors! To, like… block all your anger, or something. And I have a hunch that’s what makes you go a little… GRRR!” Taako pointed to his head, then made claw motions with his hands and growled.

“We met your family, by the way!” Merle added. “Delightful.”

“I miss them so much,” Klarg confessed, blinking tears from his eyes. He was sure they’d come to love Taako as much as he did.

“Yeah, Lucas said you got in a fight with, um… your sister, I guess? And that’s what set you off?” Magnus spoke up.

“…What? No, I never fought with my sister! She – well, she and I understood each other better than anyone else!”

“Great, so Nerd Lord’s a liar,” Taako said, rolling his eyes.

“Which we already knew,” Magnus grumbled. “I’ll kill that little weasel next time I see him, I swear to Pan.”

“I –“ Klarg stopped, puzzled. He shook his head with an embarrassed little laugh. “I don’t remember. I know I – something happened, but I can’t for the life of me think of what it was! It’s all a blur!”

Taako and his friends exchanged knowing looks.

“I think… you must have had a brush with some very powerful magic, sir,” Angus said carefully.

“That’s all well and good, and honestly no big revelation, but do you know how to undo this Charmed state?” asked Dante.

“Ummmmmm…” Taako tapped the rim of the teacup, looking around without meeting anyone’s eyes. “Not… not really. No. It was done using some… magical technology. Not something I’m familiar with, my dude. Nothing I’ve heard of before.”

“It might be something… an artificer could figure out,” Angus suggested. “We could ask **** when we get back!”

The wrestlers glanced at each other at the brief burst of static. The visitors didn’t seem to notice.

“Oh, that – listen. Can you imagine?” Taako was laughing. “If I asked him something like that? Or anything at all? He already has a total breakdown whenever he sees me. Nope. Can’t do it.”

“I could do it!” Angus smiled eagerly at Klarg.

“Yeah, we’ll help you out, buddy!” Magnus said, smiling. 

“Sure, sure, see what we can do,” Merle said, looking up at the high ceiling.

“Um – do you have a Stone of Farspeech? I can give you my frequency, and get back to you in a day or so,” Angus said, touching his own stone.

Klarg blinked. “Um – no. I… I don’t…” He was so behind the times, what would Taako think of him?

“I do,” Sabine said, handing him hers. “You’re welcome to use it.” She glanced at Taako, Magnus, and Merle for permission, then gave Angus her frequency, which he carefully put into his stone.

“Thank you, ma’am! I’m… I’m excited to help you solve this mystery!” He grinned at Klarg.

“That’s… that’s very nice of you,” Klarg said, ears curving up as he smiled back. “I can see why Taako decided to take you on as his student, you’re so polite and helpful!”

Angus blushed deeply and sputtered a bit, glancing over at Taako, who rolled his eyes and groaned. Magnus and Merle snickered, but Klarg didn’t understand what was funny.

“Yeah, well anyway… this has been nice,” Taako drawled, smiling across the table at the wrestlers. Klarg sighed happily, gazing adoringly at him.

“T-Taako?” Klarg asked as the four were leaving. “I – We’re… we’re friends, aren’t we?” Oh please, please, please…

Taako turned, smiling lazily. “Hm? Sure, my dude. You’re all right.”

“C-could I maybe…”

Before he could ask, Sabine pulled him away and jerked her head at Taako and his friends to be on their way. Klarg’s heart sank.

As soon as they were out of sight, she repeated back to him what they’d said, because as she suspected, he hadn’t been paying much attention to that. “I’m sorry you didn’t get much of an answer.”

Klarg sighed and scratched his ear. “At least it’s a little more. And… and my family’s still out there. And they might want to see me again.”

“They do,” she corrected him, smiling. “Of course they do. I’m sure they miss you.”

“I – I’ve missed them so much,” he confessed, voice cracking.

“We can look them up. You can get back in touch.”

He smiled, ears perking up a bit. “That’d be… that’d be really great!” Finally, everything was looking up.


	12. Tea and Sympathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you say to invite loved ones back into your life?

Dear Aaron, John, Jamie, and Christy,

Klarg crumpled up the paper and threw it away. He didn’t want to use those names. Well, maybe they still did, and he would if that’s what they wanted. But not… not in a letter, that felt wrong.

Dear family,

Klarg stared at that and crumpled it up as well. Too vague and impersonal.

Finally he stormed out of his little room. He found Jeff Angel carefully preening his feathers on the roof, and clambered up to stick his head out the window.

“Hey. You… you talk to your dad a lot… right?” he muttered gruffly.

“Every day!” Jeff screamed, and Klarg jumped a little.

“Ah! W-what do you… say to him?”

“I tell him about my day! What I’m thinking about! I tell him about you, all my friends! I ask how he’s doing! I tell him I love him!” Jeff turned to Klarg with his usual accusatory glare, which the bugbear had come to realize was just his face. “You never know when it might be the last time you talk to your dad!”

“Yeah,” Klarg muttered.

Jeff eyed Klarg sharply for a long moment. “…Call your family,” he said, a little quieter.

“I – I’ve been trying to write to them, I just… don’t know where to start.”

“I find it easier to talk than write!” Jeff punched his other palm hard and nodded firmly.

Klarg made a face. “…They don’t have farspeech stones. Not last I knew, anyway.”

Jeff ruffled his feathers and chirped in irritation. “Then it sounds like a letter will have to do!”

Klarg huffed and climbed back down inside, but Jeff’s head popped into the window. “Moonbeam!”

“Hm?” Klarg looked up.

“Tell them what’s in your heart!”

Klarg grimaced. “Got it, Jeff, thanks.”

“Don’t hold back!”

“Shut up!”

Klarg headed downstairs, where he ran into Sabine. “That boy detective called,” she said, holding up her stone of farspeech.

“Hello, sir!” came the boy’s voice. “I talked with our artificer, he was very interested in your situation. He hasn’t worked with that kind of thing… himself, but he has some ideas that I think are pretty neat!”

“What – what is it?” Klarg felt like his voice was especially rough and gravelly, compared to the boy’s young, eager cadence. It made him feel oddly prickly.

“Well it’s really quite fascinating – Leon says there must be a charm spell on the inhibitor chip. It’s really amazing that Lucas got it inserted right into your brain, just in the right spot, and you’re still… you weren’t… you’re alive.”

“Yeah, I’m alive!” Klarg growled, irritated.

“I-it’s just… um…” There was a long pause.

“Well?”

“Well. Sir, I guess this – this isn’t strictly… necessary, but… I just can’t stop thinking about it. Just – I can’t imagine how many… trials… he must have had to do before he… he got it right.” The boy’s voice was shaking, and it sounded like he might be starting to cry.

Klarg’s snarl caught in his throat. How many had there been before him and his family? He’d never thought of that before.

“…That Lucas is… is the… the fucking worst,” he finally growled. “And if I ever see him again, I’ll tear his face of and sew it over his ass.”

There was a sad little laugh from the stone. “I… I see how you and Taako and Magnus get along so well.”

A jolt ran up Klarg’s spine. “Did – does he talk about me?”

Sabine flashed him a look.

“Oh, um, yeeeeeeesssssss,” the boy said awkwardly. “Yes. Uh-huh. He, he does talk about you. He’s mentioned you. Um. Anyway, the inhibitor inhibits… anger, and it… well, I may have misspoke earlier, it’s not quite a charm spell. It’s made synthetically, not quite with a spell, and it blocks anger rather than… inducing feelings of… love and devotion and all that. So… whenever whatever happened… happened, I think it stopped working so good. Because you can feel anger now, right, sir?”

“Yes,” Klarg fumed. “Definitely.”

“Exactly! But you can still… talk and reason and everything, it’s not so overwhelming that you’re just attacking everyone all the time, like – like bugbears are… well, known to do.”

Klarg made a noncommittal noise. The boy wasn’t wrong.

“…But then Taako cast Charm Person on you, and it didn’t just work the way it normally does, it created a sort of Pavlovian connection between the two of you! And this is really interesting, if you don’t mind me saying so, sir. Because I think before, the inhibitor was kind of tuned to… to Lucas, because you and your family were serving him. And now it’s tuned to Taako.”

“So how do I stop it?” the bugbear rumbled.

“Well… that, I’m not so sure about, sir. I can keep working on it, but I think for the time being, maybe… it’d be best if you avoid… seeing Taako.”

“I’ve been trying to,” Klarg grumbled. “He keeps showing up! It’s not like I go looking for him or something!”

“Well… that… I don’t know what to tell you, sir,” Angus said helplessly. “You’re doing your best, I think. Just… keep doing that.”

“’Avoid him,’ that’s the best he could give me,” Klarg growled when Angus hung up.

“To be fair, it doesn’t sound like there’s much you can do, realistically,” Sabine pointed out.

Klarg went back to trying to write, and he’d gone through five pencils and eleven pieces of paper before Death Man stomped over.

“Writing to your family?” he asked in irritation. “Just – just tell them your match schedule! There’s a fight in three months. I can’t believe – it doesn’t have to be this hard!”

“For you, maybe,” Klarg grumbled.

“No, you – listen, you don’t know a damn thing about me, Fuzzy. Haven’t talked to my family in years, and if I ever see ‘em again, I’ll make ‘em line up so I can punch ‘em all down like dominos.” Death Man glared darkly at him. “But your folks aren’t like that. You said you miss ‘em, wanna see ‘em, right?”

Klarg nodded, a little taken aback.

“They treated you good?”

“A-always.”

“So? What’s the problem? Get off your ass and get to it!” The man punched him in the side. Klarg flinched away, more out of surprise than because his knuckles were sharp and bony. “Quit waffling around, you weenie!”

“Ow! Okay!”

Klarg went back to his room and stared at the blank paper for a long time before growling and stomping out. He went down to the back of the box office and snatched up one of the posters for the upcoming Battlefest match. There were the hometown fighters’ pictures, as well as a few pictures of visiting wrestlers. It was perfect, it had the date, time, and location. On the back, he scrawled, ‘If you want to come, I can get you tickets.’ He did not write ‘I miss you’ or ‘I love you.’ He folded up the paper… then quickly unfolded it and added at the bottom, ‘There are so many types of tea here; I’ll purchase a new variety for the occasion!’ and drew a little heart in the corner. He refolded the letter and sealed it in an envelope, sticking a stamp on and writing the address on the front with shaky hands. He set off to the post office before he could change his mind. The gnome behind the desk glowered at him the whole time, but he tried not to pay attention.

He didn’t expect an answer soon, or maybe at all, but within a week he got a long reply. His dad had written it, he could tell, and he eagerly read the news of his family. They’d been evacuated when Taako and his friends came through to try to save the place. Lucas was gone – maybe dead, though Christy didn’t think so. They hadn’t gone far, though, because they weren’t sure where they could fit in, and… and they thought Klarg might come back looking for them. His eyes filled as he read that, and a few big tears slipped down his face. They’d made a home for themselves, and were supporting themselves with the skills they’d perfected in the lab. Jamie had a beautiful garden. John made amazing food using what Jamie grew. Aaron was designing clothing, and Christy was still figuring things out, but was helping where she could. They had opened a little combination bakery and clothing store, and already had plans to expand to a full restaurant and tailor shop. People were wary at first, but they were all impressed with the quality of the products and with their gentle manners.

Klarg wiped his eyes. He’d kind of hoped they wouldn’t be using the names Lucas gave them… but they also still had their fully-functional inhibitors in their brains. They couldn’t be even a little bit angry. And there was really nothing he could do about that, unless he found a strong enough magic… but he didn’t want them to be broken like he was. At least they were happy, and no longer serving Lucas Miller. That’s what mattered. …And Lucas was dead, at least maybe. In any case, he was gone. A win all around!

They concluded the long letter by saying how much they all missed him, how he had to try John’s new recipe, and how much they looked forward to tasting his new tea. They were so relieved he was safe, and they’d be there for the match.

There was a soft knock on the doorframe, and Klarg, jumped, turning and trying to wipe his face. Dante took a step inside.

“I – are you all right?” the goliath asked hesitantly.

“Just… letter from my family. ‘M fine,” Klarg mumbled.

Dante smiled. “They wrote back to you! I’m so glad, Klarg. Are they coming to the next match?”

He nodded shakily. “They… they stayed… where they were, before, because… because they thought I might come back,” he breathed.

“You mean a lot to them.” Dante patted him on the shoulder solemnly, then smiled. “And of course you’ll invite them up for tea when they come? I know we’d all love to meet them.”

Klarg nodded hard. “Y-yeah. I’ll have to… go down to the tea room in town and pick up something good. Uh – I’ve got a while, I just…”

“No, I know exactly what you mean. Do you want to go take a look today, maybe get some ideas?”

Klarg’s ears perked up, and he stood, wiping his eyes again. “Yeah! …I’ve gotta get out of this tiny room before I explode!”

Dante gave a little laugh. “I know the feeling, my friend. And two larger-than-intended occupants are simply too much, no matter how temporary.” He ducked out the door, and Klarg followed.

Klarg excitedly told Dante about his family as they walked through the streets of Neverwinter. “And – and you’ll have to meet my dad, he… he makes clothes, and they’re amazing. Then John cooks and Jamie gardens and Christy… doesn’t really have her own thing yet, but she’s still young, that’s fine. Back at the lab she did security and maintenance and stuff, and she was really good.”

“I’m sure she’ll find her niche,” said Dante, ducking into the little tea shop. Klarg followed him inside. “She could do anything she wants. …Which, admittedly, can make it hard to choose. But I’m sure she’ll get there.”

“Did you always know you wanted to do… this?” Klarg asked, eyeing him sidelong.

The goliath scoffed. “Oh, no. My family wanted me to be a soldier, or a mercenary, or even a quarry foreman or something. They started getting pretty desperate after a while, that would’ve been a pretty soft option compared to the rest of the family. But I just wasn’t interested. So I came to Neverwinter and had to find a job to live off of… and I ended up as a ticket taker for Chaos Stadium. I hated everything about it, but I started getting to know the regulars, the fighters, the management. Loved the city… We had a Candlenights party one year, and Merrick had a bit to drink, and I was showing him my costume design ideas and talking to him about entrances and posters and merchandising… I figured it was all in one ear and out the other, but the next day he called me into his office and told me he had two new fighters, and he wanted me to outfit them and design an entrance. …And I never went back.”

“What… what’s your family think of that?” Klarg asked, and instantly regretted it. Probably a sore subject. Definitely none of his business.

Dante chuckled dryly. “It took them a while to come around, and they don’t visit often – I’m not the main attraction here, after all, and it’s quite a distance away. But they’ve accepted this about me, and to be honest, that’s more than enough for me at this point.”

Klarg nodded slowly. They looked at the tea, and sampled a few kinds. Klarg talked Dante out of buying a very expensive little bag of scone mix, assuring him that they could make their own easily, for much less money. Dante talked Klarg into buying an iridescent tea infuser, which would doubtless work better than the leaky one he’d picked up at the Fantasy Dollar Store. They both sampled a cranberry almond scone, which was delightful. And as they walked back, Klarg came up with a dozen ideas about what to write in his next letter.


	13. Teatime

The day of the match was oddly gray and dreary, but Klarg paced eagerly. He’d exchanged a few more letters with his family. They’d be arriving this morning and staying for a week, and he wanted to show them everything. He was a little worried that they wouldn’t approve of his budding wrestling career, with their still fully-functional inhibitors, but they had sounded eager to see what he was doing with his life now. Christy actually seemed impressed, which he was glad about. They had always been close, and he wanted her approval maybe more than the others’.

He had been walking around inside for a while, but the staff kept bumping into him, and finally Dante suggested politely but firmly that he might feel better if he got some air. He took the hint and stalked up and down the steps in front of Chaos Stadium. Fans came up to him now and then, even though he didn’t have his costume on, and he said hello, signed a few autographs, and posed for a few quick paintings with them. He was getting used to the publicity now, and it was a welcome distraction. He was just waving goodbye to a group of teenagers when he heard a shout.

“…Daniel?”

“KLARG!”

He turned, ears perking up, and a mass of fur and claws flew at him. He braced himself and caught Christy, who was hugging him tightly.

“I knew you were out there doing cool stuff!” she yelled, nuzzling into his fur. The other bugbears caught up and clustered around him and piled on to hug him. He threw his arms around them all, and they all hugged each other tightly.

“I-it’s so good to see you!” Klarg exclaimed gruffly. “I thought when I left, I’d never see you again!”

Aaron pulled back slightly, his ears lowering a bit. “Dan – Klarg… you’re family. We never stopped thinking of you.”

“We knew we’d see you again,” Jamie added, nodding.

John gave him a pat. “And you look so good! You’re doing so well for yourself!” He looked older than Klarg remembered, and was starting to look a bit frail, though he was still clearly energetic.

“I – I’m doing okay,” Klarg mumbled gruffly. A movement caught his eye, and he glanced upwards. The clouds were roiling all over the sky, but down on the ground there was no wind. Klarg didn’t smell rain, either.

Jamie’s gaze followed his. “Strange weather you’ve got here in the city,” he grunted affably. “That usual?”

“No….” Klarg said slowly. “I dunno what that is. Doesn’t look good, though.”

“Hey!” Jess the Beheader waved at Klarg and his family as she ran down the steps and clapped a wizard in a rather tacky-looking robe hard on the back. He stumbled, and she led him inside.

“Oh my god, is that Jess the Beheader?” Christy exclaimed. “Do you know her?”

“Yeah, she’s kinda taken over around here since that big cult skerfuffle,” Klarg said with a shrug. “She’s okay. …But listen, I’ve gotta go get ready. Here, I got you really good seats.” He handed each of them a ticket. “Um… I’ll see you after the match. Th-thanks for… for coming.” He shuffled and fidgeted before bounding back up the stairs and into the Chaos Stadium.

“Bye, Klarg! Kick some ass!” Christy yelled cheerfully after him.

Klarg was nearly bouncing when he got to the dressing room. They’d really come, and they didn’t hate him, and they… they were proud of him! His ears perked up and he hummed, happily off-key, as he got dressed.

“They came, I take it?” Dante asked as he walked by.

The bugbear nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! They’re really here!”

“Of course they are,” Dante said with a chuckle. “Keep your head in the fight, though.”

“I’ve got it.” Klarg pulled the mask over his face and snarled at himself in the mirror. Perfect.

The structure of this fight was a little different than Battlefest, and Klarg found himself facing a beefy little gnome in the first round. He chuckled, then found himself on his back. It was easy to get up, though, at least, and he didn’t make the same mistake twice. The gnome was fast and strong, but she needed leverage. Klarg finally managed to pick her up and hold all her limbs in one big hand, and she couldn’t do anything about it. His family cheered loudly in the front row, and he raised his fists and roared.

In the next round, he faced Sabine and Death Man, who had very different fighting styles. He got Death Man in a headlock and successfully knocked him out of the fight, but Sabine was so fast. He did better against her than he had in the past, though, and they both advanced to the next round.

After that Jeff and Jess took on the biggest orc any of them had ever seen – he might have been half hill giant. They teamed up against him in the beginning, but Jeff eventually went down with a pained squawk. Jess followed him out of the ring, and shook her head when she got to the back.

“That guy’s a mountain. You okay, Jeff?”

“We’ll get him next time!” Jeff shouted, and winced a bit.

“Damn right, we will. I’ll give ‘im a good lump fer you.”

The last triple match was made up of a short squat dragonborn, a tall tiefling, and an unusually muscly elf. They seemed pretty evenly-matched, and the elf and tiefling teamed up to take down the dragonborn, but the dragonborn managed to blast the elf out of the ring with a powerful kick.

“Some pretty strong competitors today,” Sabine observed, coming up to stand next to Klarg. He nodded, glowering out at them, and she nudged his side with a grin. “…And the new guys look decent, too.”

Klarg barked out a laugh. “Wanna take ‘em out, then settle it?”

She tilted her head thoughtfully. “Yeah. I think the others’ll go along with that idea, too.”

The fight was one to remember, the spectators all agreed. Everyone, whether or not they called Chaos Stadium home, teamed up to take down the gigantic orc. Once he was out, it was more or less a free-for-all. Klarg didn’t win the belt, but he put on a good show, and grinned to himself when he heard his family cheering loudly. Christy was jumping on random people as she yelled, and it was great.

When it was over, the crowd started to pour out of the stadium… and stopped. There was confused muttering from the doorways, and a strange thin light trickled in, instead of the expected strong sunlight. Death Man pushed his way through for a look.

“…Go home or get back in here, but move it!” he bellowed, and the crowd bolted. Most left. A few stayed, and Klarg was both relieved and concerned when his family made their way to him.

“Do you guys have a safe place to go?” he asked, squinting outside. The sky looked strange.

“Not around here. Dan - Klarg, do you know what’s going on?” Aaron asked.

“No,” Klarg grunted, shaking his head. “Doesn’t look good, though.”

They barricaded the doors shut, and the wrestlers and spectators stood in silence, barely daring to breathe, as darkness poured from the sky. Something banged and pushed at the doors.

“Can’t we do something?” Christy whispered.

“Too many of ‘em,” Death Man muttered, shaking his head.

And then two lights passed through them all, a green light and a blue light, and they were left gasping at the knowledge they brought. The ship with seven travelers who had fought this thing, this Hunger. Klarg shuddered and wiped tears from his eyes. Taako was such a hero…

And if they had fought the Hunger, just seven of them, then maybe all of them together could fight it now. Maybe they could win.

Klarg, Jess, Sabine, and Death Man began to organize the others. Jeff flitted back and forth anxiously, squawking to himself as they got into formation. The bugbears got to the front, and all was quiet for a brief moment.

Then they unbarred the doors, and they began to fight back.

It was hard to focus completely on fighting this – the Hunger – with his family here. What if they got hurt? They weren’t fighters, not anymore. He’d have to protect them. But Christy dove right in, teeth bared and claws spread, right beside him, and the others weren’t far behind. They led the charge, tearing into the shadowy, opalescent forms, and the rest of the wrestlers and the fans joined them. Jess lived up to her name, hurling her axe into creature after creature, and recalling it to her swiftly while she choked other opponents. Sabine flew through the Hunger, and they fell behind her. Jeff had finally rallied, and he leapt and dove, attacking with his powerful clawed feet. Death Man knocked his way through everything in his path. Dante swung a chair and used his enormous fists to fell his opponents. And it wasn’t an easy fight, but the whole city was fighting. The whole world must be fighting. Some of the creatures were massive, bigger than even the crowd of them could hope to take on, but there were others, huge robots and monsters and demons and… all sorts of things that were fighting for this world, too. It gave them hope. Because they were able to hold their own, and others had stepped up to face the things they couldn’t.

And together, against the greatest odds of all, they won.

“Ohhhh, man, can you believe that!?” Christy hopped over and punched Klarg’s arm, grinning, one eye swollen shut and bleeding. “We totally beat the Hunger! Like, all of us! That was the best! And your friends – they’re even cooler than I thought!”

“Yeah!” Klarg’s ears perked up. “I guess they are!” He was overjoyed that Taako was really the hero he knew him to be, and that the whole universe knew now.

It took a while for things to calm down, for the crowd to disperse. In the meantime, Klarg introduced his family to his fellow wrestlers, who were impressed with the way they fought.

“Klarg didn’t mention that you were fighters!” Sabine said with a smile. “You should really consider staying.”

Klarg glanced over nervously.

“I don’t know about living in a big place like this,” John grumbled quietly, though he looked around, appraising everything.

“I – I know a great cave out in the hills,” Klarg offered. “It’s not much, but it’s – I lived there for a while. It’s a nice place. Maybe a little small for… for all of you, but you could expand a little.”

“That sounds great!” Christy nudged Aaron. “Right?”

Aaron was frowning, though. “…You won’t come with us?”

“Oh, uh… I…” They wanted him to live with them again? “I… I thought I’d stay here, but… but it’d be great. If there’s room.”

“Why don’t we take a look, and talk about it?” Jamie suggested, and they agreed that was a good idea.

Klarg kept his eyes mostly downcast as they walked. Finally, Aaron patted his shoulder.

“You don’t have to live with us again, Klarg.”

Klarg jumped a bit. “…I don’t want to impose, that’s all.”

“Klarg, you’re one of us. You’re my son, you’re family.”

“Yeah,” said Jamie. “We all miss you. Of course we want you to live with us!”

“But you’ve got a kickass job and some awesome friends,” Christy pointed out. “And this place isn’t that far, is it?”

“No...”

“Then you can visit!” Christy decided with a nod. “And we can visit you, it’s fine.”

Klarg swallowed around a lump in his throat. “Let’s… see what kind of shape it’s in, first.”

The old cavern was in good shape, though it would need some cleaning up. And it was bigger than he remembered. Maybe it was the lack of gerblins everywhere.

“There’re lots of little passages and rooms off to the side… Pretty roomy, really,” Klarg said, grinning hopefully. “Plenty of space for a big kitchen. And there’s a room over there that’s big and pretty well-lit, you could make clothes in there. Lots of space outside for a garden, too.”

The bugbears looked at each other.

“It’s close enough to Neverwinter that we’d have a decent market available,” Aaron admitted, looking around.

“And we’d be close to Klarg!” Christy added eagerly.

“You should come wrestle with us some time!” Klarg said. “You guys were amazing back there!”

“For sure!” said Christy.

By the time the family had moved into the cave, the world had changed. Or rather, it was healing from the Hunger’s attack, but in itself it was the same. It just felt different, probably for everyone. Klarg was grateful for his family, and for his fellow wrestlers at Chaos Stadium. Christy came to visit often, and was starting to make a name for herself. The other three preferred to watch. Aaron and Dante would talk costumes, and Jamie and John would try out new recipes to offer to the fighters. And Klarg made them tea every time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took forever - I just moved across the country and started a new job, and I know I didn't do this justice in the end, but I didn't want to leave it without an ending.  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
